|
 Menu
|
|
|
|
|
Social
|
|
|
|
|
Perception of Me
Contributed by
bobbyzimmerman
on
Thursday, 7th September 2006 @ 07:40:40 PM in AEST
Topic:
selfstruggles
|
They say that I am beautiful
And thin and bright and sweet
They say the skys the limit
All the people that I meet
They say that I am lucky
For I have been so blessed
With piano virtuosity
The pride of the Midwest
They say that I have pretty eyes
And lovely auburn hair
They say that I should model
That nobody compares
They tell me Im athletic
Strong, fast and agile
They say I am perfect
Extremely versatile
They say that Ill be famous
In just a little bit
They say all that of me
A worthless piece of ****.
Copyright ©
bobbyzimmerman
... [
2006-09-07 19:40:40]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
Advertisments:
|
|
|
|
|
|
Sorry, comments are no longer allowed for anonymous, please register for a free membership to access this feature and more
|
|
All comments are owned by the poster. Your Poetry
Dot Com is not responsible for the content of any
comment.
That said, if you find an offensive comment, please
contact via the FeedBack Form with details, including poem title
etc.
|
|
|
Re: Perception of Me
(User Rating: 1 )
by twbanter on
Thursday, 7th September 2006 @ 08:54:30 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Ohhhhh, Bobby.... You don't have to be ANY of those things, (even if you are) to be beautiful! That comes from within... Look in the mirror, and YOU tell yourself you are all these things! You probably are, but you need to learn how to take a compliment, for your own sake! And YES you have a sake.... I have one too, just can't remember where the hell I put it!!Dough!!!
Tom W |
|
|
Re: Perception of Me
(User Rating: 1 )
by twbanter on
Thursday, 7th September 2006 @ 08:55:51 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
PS Great poem. "I" say, you are also a talented writer!!!! Kudos...
Tom W |
|
|
Re: Perception of Me
(User Rating: 1 )
by lillyjane on
Friday, 8th September 2006 @ 05:21:20 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
I think you are all the things others say you are, they see it you cant you just need confidence in your self.. I dont have a lot of confidence either and we always criticize
our selves.. You right great poetry.. Dont say you dont lol.. xxx |
|
|
Re: Perception of Me
(User Rating: 1 )
by deadheadpoet on
Friday, 8th September 2006 @ 12:13:41 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Dylan, (I feel the need to call you this now) Don't know your age or situation. I just know, it doesn't matter what other people think or want from you. You are the only one you need to please. Took quite awhile for me to decide to love myself...there are days I struggle, believe me. But it all has to start there. Look at the positives. Keep writing and I'll keep reading.
Peace, Laura |
|
|
Re: Perception of Me
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on
Saturday, 9th September 2006 @ 12:08:08 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
This is very well done; the descriptive word-choices are excellent. I do think maybe a couple lines were maybe a little too overstated, the last line of the third stanza and the last two, maybe, of the next. Of course overstatement has its place, but I say this because the descriptions do such a good job painting praises that the more generic overstatement may be unnecessary.
An abrupt shift in the last line, but of course I see the use of that; perhaps something worded more as a personal feeling (you about yourself rather than something worded as if objectively) might be in order.
But that's enough of my pedantry. This is a powerful piece, and touches its readers. Hang in there. The best is yet to come, you know.
Andrew |
|
|
|
· 
Poetry
Community
Members
Areas
Reference
Search
Top
Others
