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Tender
Contributed by
Silent-No-More
on
Tuesday, 12th September 2006 @ 12:04:37 AM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
Tender is the night inside my dreams
Its sharp edges smoothed away and its screams
Of burning blue turning a brilliant white
Like shadows slipping away into light
Tender, the twisted, heinous hand of Time
Caressing me in this fair dream of mine
As night sounds gently serenade my soul
And there in the dark, new is born of old
Tender are the secrets that lie in the nude
In enraptured embraced, so perfectly crude
Whispering loudly of what wouldn't be said
Alive in a moment now decidedly dead
Tender, always, oh! but never once yet
A precious memory that I cannot forget
Trapped in a prison of self protecting denial
To linger, evidently, with me for a while
Tender, these tears, in their own selfish way
That usher me out of and into each day
So I might close my eyes, forget what I saw
And dream Im not so terribly tender
and
raw
Copyright ©
Silent-No-More
... [
2006-09-12 00:04:37]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Tender
(User Rating: 1 )
by Man_On_High on
Tuesday, 12th September 2006 @ 01:40:57 AM AEST
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fine work..
affectionate sentiments dear-
B
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Re: Tender
(User Rating: 1 )
by Vampirequeen on
Tuesday, 12th September 2006 @ 02:08:47 AM AEST
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Tender, these tears, in their own selfish way
very nice very nice indeed
well done snemmy
hugs |
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Re: Tender
(User Rating: 1 )
by rdv1960 on
Tuesday, 12th September 2006 @ 02:42:09 AM AEST
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Beautiful choice of words, fine rhyme, good one this is.
roberto |
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Re: Tender
(User Rating: 1 )
by Shmokin on
Tuesday, 12th September 2006 @ 03:23:24 AM AEST
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| Nice peice, thanx for sharing :-) |
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Re: Tender
(User Rating: 1 )
by lillyjane on
Tuesday, 12th September 2006 @ 03:56:45 AM AEST
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| Very beautiful words. brilliant poem. xxx |
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Re: Tender
(User Rating: 1 )
by deadheadpoet on
Tuesday, 12th September 2006 @ 09:31:23 AM AEST
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I really feel this one. This line hit me....
"Trapped in a prison of self protecting denial
To linger, evidently, with me for a while"
Once again you have an exquisite way with words.
Peace, Laura |
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Re: Tender
(User Rating: 1 )
by fielding88 on
Tuesday, 12th September 2006 @ 11:43:28 AM AEST
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| This really had a nice flow to it, didn't it? And I like the rhymes you've used, none of it seemed like a stretch or forced. The ending was great too because it ties everything together, and gives it all relevance to the story being told. Excellent, as always Snem : ) |
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Re: Tender
(User Rating: 1 )
by Uncertain_Oblivion on
Tuesday, 12th September 2006 @ 04:13:22 PM AEST
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perfect...absolutely perfect and beautiful...simply.
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Re: Tender
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 12th September 2006 @ 05:44:14 PM AEST
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Sweets .. yes, the words are seemingly beautiful .. but I sense something MUCH
deeper in this. A longing .. as yet unfulfilled. A wish or dream of something .... more.
It's heartbeat stirs my own, snems. I am moved almost to tears myself at reading this.
I know how a moment, (even a very short one) can feel like a lifetime of pain
culminating all at once and banging loudly against raw emotions. That you have used
the word "Tender" softens it a wee bit, but the sentiment is still there. It feels ... sad,
for lack of a better word, hun.
And this sadness always seems more definite and pronounced in the mid of night,
no? I would offer up suggestions as to how to quell these demons, but then, I feel it most
prudent to work through the emotion of the moment and get past it. It makes the sublime
moments in life that much moreso, don't you think?
Thank you for sharing this one. I have, at times, been akin to these words.
This write is bodacious~ .. *winks then falls on the floor in a fit of laughter*
sorry hun .. wanted to make you smile! LOL
~Breezy
: )
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Re: Tender
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 14th September 2006 @ 08:29:20 PM AEST
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Wow, sad and sensual all in one. You are absolutely amazing and this floored me.
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Re: Tender
(User Rating: 1 )
by lostinmyself on
Friday, 15th September 2006 @ 07:09:56 PM AEST
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It seems a little different for you, Chris.
Raw does seem to be the word that came to mind though. It seems fresh and real. Like it fell out.
I like this a lot. Definitely a lot less ambiguous than many of your writes :P
*hugs tons*
Phil xxx |
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Re: Tender
(User Rating: 1 )
by Keilantra on
Sunday, 24th September 2006 @ 05:19:40 PM AEST
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it all started wiht the third, sarling. and then you got into it,
the last 9 words. amazing. i cant even touch this wiht my comment. =]
excellent darling.
xXx
~kei |
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Re: Tender
(User Rating: 1 )
by Wachumiri on
Saturday, 31st March 2007 @ 10:09:27 PM AEST
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Now that was poetry... Very well written, I wanted it to go on for a while, but it ended when it did. I hate writing something that ends before I'm done with it.
Take care,
David |
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