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Harsh Vicinity
Contributed by
assassinatorgirl
on
Wednesday, 13th September 2006 @ 09:12:55 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
Harsh vicinity, you've nothing for your thoughts,
Stuck with the little that time allots.
Twisting the air as an old rag,
Infliction jumps inside to sag.
My skin hangs low to touch the dirt,
Years of toil with no end to hurt.
Yea, the Minutes have washed me overwith.
A finger tied on edge and if
I am here, am I not?
I am cold and never sought.
Criss-crossed star-gazing, wonder where you are,
Lap up all the moonlight and shield your every scar.
They'll exploit you for their game,
Rip your back in two the same.
Gently cradling your broken neck,
Victimizer Sue is glad for the wreck.
She survived, the unfittest is dead.
She pockets the bullet meant for your head.
Copyright ©
assassinatorgirl
... [
2006-09-13 21:12:55]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Harsh Vicinity
(User Rating: 1 )
by deadheadpoet on
Thursday, 14th September 2006 @ 01:46:25 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Interesting write. I really dug the lines in the second stanza.........
"Criss-crossed star-gazing, wonder where you are,
Lap up all the moonlight and shield your every scar."
Thanks for sharing.
Peace, Laura |
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Re: Harsh Vicinity
(User Rating: 1 )
by 12161216 on
Thursday, 2nd April 2009 @ 12:36:41 PM AEST
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a Message)
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I appreciate your use of rhyming. I, myself, usually don't rhyme my poems because I don't bother to look up different words.
I'm not quite sure what its about. Maybe I'm just stupid. For some reason it reminds me of the ocean. At the end it talks about pocketing bullets and stuff, so maybe its about war?
Good job, anyway :D |
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