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So Cemetary
Contributed by
alasdaircairns
on
Monday, 18th September 2006 @ 08:35:55 PM in AEST
Topic:
LostLove
|
I wish I was better man, man who could express himself,
When no one else is with myself, I wish that I could hold my wealth,
I wish that that you could stay with me, or be with me, or humour me,
I'm not so dumb that I can't see, that times to pass were meant to be.
I've been so cold, so cemetary, cos I can't take you leaving me,
So I blame you, the fault be me, plus all the things I dreamed will be,
I can't stop dreaming, stick with me! Cos dreams will fade to memory,
And my intentions, you will see, are honorary and good to see.
I can't stop weeping, in my head, 'spite all the things I hope I said,
And though I'm feeling love's all dead, I'll take a chance 'pon love instead,
I wish that you could hang around and be part of my future sound,
But future's nurtured all around, I guess I'll find my perfect pound.
I think then ruin, counting days, all caught up in your teenage daze,
I forget that your loving gaze, has made me feel ten year's amazed.
I thank the heavens I met you, plus all the joys your love accrues,
So thank you for my summer's due, evaporates like it must do.
xxxxxxx
Copyright ©
alasdaircairns
... [
2006-09-18 20:35:55]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: So Cemetary
(User Rating: 1 )
by Amicus on
Monday, 18th September 2006 @ 08:58:28 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Nice, i enjoyed it
the 1st and 3rd paragraphs rhymes kinda got odd like it was being pressed
overall
i loved it
nice work |
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Re: So Cemetary
(User Rating: 1 )
by AllHeWrote on
Tuesday, 19th September 2006 @ 03:39:29 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Nice and thought out. But the rhyming stucture gets a bit old.
Trafton |
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