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One Thing
Contributed by
Biggie
on
Monday, 18th September 2006 @ 10:57:48 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
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I thought I knew everything Until I found myself scared Scared of the one thing The thing I knew best right now Blinded by that one thing One thing kept my fears inside Hiding my pain you say Youll hurt yourself again you say, yet Slowly the sun rises & one thing begins to fade Fading slowly you say, but I look beyond I had fallen to what seemed like death Only to rise again & realize this one thing?! I was Scared to open that door & see clearly See Im not alone
The one thing I thought I knew best Scared only to be lonely
Copyright ©
Biggie
... [
2006-09-18 22:57:48] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: One Thing
(User Rating: 1 ) by twbanter on
Monday, 18th September 2006 @ 11:30:50 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Me too Big... Scared as hell. But someone once straightened me out...
Joe Piscapoe... straightened me out once... "ONCE." (Johny Dangerously! Lol)
Tom W |
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Re: One Thing
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 31st March 2009 @ 06:57:33 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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"&" looks ugly in poetry, as does "I was Scared" (capitals), and the "?!" seems a bit arbitrary.
The repetition of "the/one thing" feels kind of awkward, you could remove half the examples in the beginning and it would flow better. |
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