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Love has past me by
Contributed by
jerseysue
on
Saturday, 23rd September 2006 @ 05:18:30 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
Why does my heart so deeply cry,
As I gaze at the heavenly moonlit sky,
For life is full of lasting sighs,
Of wishes and dreams and sad goodbyes,
Life is full of traps and snares,
For those of us who try to care,
But unlike the lovely weeping willow,
The tears fall only upon my pillow,
For I am alone in my secret world,
But now my life I will unfurl,
And like the fastest flowing river,
My trembling lips they start to quiver,
With heartfelt honesty I do reveal,
The true extent of how I feel,
I want to live a better life,
And move away from endless strife,
But alas like winters bitter chill,
My life is but a bitter pill,
The more I try, the more I fail,
My existence is no fairy tale,
And like the lady in her ivory tower,
I sit and ponder many an hour,
For love to arrive, my bold brave knight,
To keep me warm and safe at night,
But fate has changed my life it seems,
And nightmares now replace my dreams,
No more I see a bright future ahead,
My soul destroyed, my heart is dead,
So like the ice maiden now I see,
No happiness is there ahead for me,
Only sadness and an ice cold stare,
The end is nigh, I am almost there!
Copyright ©
jerseysue
... [
2006-09-23 17:18:30]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Love has past me by
(User Rating: 1 )
by brave_celt on
Saturday, 23rd September 2006 @ 06:07:40 PM AEST
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| its obvious the poem is about your life and how you feel. all you need to do is tighten it up a bit say only what you need to say or want to say and make two poems of it. also try not to use real rhymes with near rhymes other than that this is a good poem a great poem |
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Re: Love has past me by
(User Rating: 1 )
by Oneir8dude on
Saturday, 23rd September 2006 @ 08:05:52 PM AEST
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My thoughts are I wouldn't change a thing...
I liked the flow of your words... Although maybe
fiction, all fiction holds some truth... I feel sad
after reading this great work... I feel that your are
needing to dream of days past... Back to another
time when all was well... Think of that beautiful
Island castle and the cool water breeze...
Thank You Sue. Once again you left me in aw...
Bill |
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Re: Love has past me by
(User Rating: 1 )
by detourchick on
Saturday, 23rd September 2006 @ 08:22:34 PM AEST
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i really liked it and i feel like u do know whats about
but i know how u feel like when u just feel a poem coming out u run to a computer or pen and paper and just let it out and u have no idea where it came from
amaziinng |
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Re: Love has past me by
(User Rating: 1 )
by Man_On_High on
Saturday, 23rd September 2006 @ 10:55:41 PM AEST
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what a fantstic opening Sue!!
..'willows' as well.. at L7-
perhaps, the most beautiful tree on earth!
there's always been much truth in your work.. moreso, than any other distinction, that I dare to see~
very nice post~
Billy
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Re: Love has past me by
(User Rating: 1 )
by RLWildPassions on
Sunday, 24th September 2006 @ 03:03:11 PM AEST
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*********I want to live a better life,
And move away from endless strife,
and try as we might, we all find a new path, not known, we just go where our feet take us, and if that is not right, so what, we did what we knew at a given time. be well, and may your path you walk upon be the one that takes you straight to a pleasant fulfillness of a further approach in time, albeit, that path is the one you listened to and somehow it will be the path known to heart, how else could it be, you are not thee pathmaker... rl |
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Re: Love has past me by
(User Rating: 1 )
by Ravensfire on
Sunday, 24th September 2006 @ 03:14:49 PM AEST
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| Agrees, don't change a thing, very emotional, heart felt, great write. |
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Re: Love has past me by
(User Rating: 1 )
by Eternal_Dreamer on
Tuesday, 26th September 2006 @ 05:38:50 PM AEST
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Sue~
It's as if you know my inner thoughts and feelings. I can so much relate to your work my dear friend. I know sometimes things look bleak and you feel as if hope is fading. Despair not my friend there shall be a special someone who shall come into your life and rid you of all the pain and hurt that you currently feeling. Sending you a rainbow of wishes dearest Sue~ May what you wish for come true my friend. Chin up bud and may sadness never find its way to your beautiful heart. Take care.
love, hugs n prayers,
Sue M |
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