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Kill The King
Contributed by
CaptainSpaldo05
on
Wednesday, 27th September 2006 @ 08:35:08 PM in AEST
Topic:
political
|
Watch this rapid river water
As it floods across the land
Everybody's drowning faster
Trying to escape the con of man
They raise their hands high
To show that their alive
While were drowning in our waters
More men tend to cry
The King will reign
But he'll loose his throne
Condemed by greed
He'll be left alone
Look behind you
Nobody's there
We don't appease you
Nobody cares
Mountain peaks they crumble
Shake up this wicked place
Like a drunken man outside a church
We all fall from Grace
The only top the stands still
It holds his dear old home
While we shed our blood now
He sits their on his throne
The King will reign
But he'll loose his throne
Condemed by greed
He'll be left alone
Look behind you
Nobody's there
We don't appease you
Nobody cares
Copyright ©
CaptainSpaldo05
... [
2006-09-27 20:35:08]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Kill The King
(User Rating: 1 )
by Amicus on
Wednesday, 27th September 2006 @ 09:04:49 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
Very nicely written and the politcal side gives it more potential. just make sure you get the there's and the were's right
i am a very critical reader and it got me off the main subject but the good rhyming got me back on track
nicely done |
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Re: Kill The King
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Wednesday, 27th September 2006 @ 10:27:07 PM AEST
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a Message)
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This is a very powerfull, truthfull, amazing write.
Great job.
huggs,
emy |
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Re: Kill The King
(User Rating: 1 )
by one-curly-fry on
Thursday, 28th September 2006 @ 06:40:05 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Good flow and use of metaphor - it's almost muscial. I also find the use of repeating the major points as a useful tool to get the point across - which you did well here!
Good write!
- Tim |
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