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The Absolute BLOOM
Contributed by
sally-heart-jack
on
Friday, 29th September 2006 @ 11:24:46 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
Im breaking down
I dont want to feel
I dont mean to be sad or spiteful
But Im sorry, my eyes view surreal.
I cant dream. I just cant imagine lately
Think of what I lived for before.
My thoughts have been pondered
My questions have been answered
So why do I still wander?
Why am I still here?
Ive been down there with you,
Your face isnt the same though.
Despite the agony we both felt,
Since a long time ago.
Unlike me, those bittersweet feelings arent still with you.
Those shaky words I wrote
on the table with chalk
Dont worry, just let me pretend this feel
And let me keep my door locked
Even if you feel I dont mean this
Let me pretend you care.
I dont feel to draw breath,
I dont dare to dream
I dont try to see the world
As if its smaller than me
So Im gonna tell you,
I dont deserve to stand
My mouth will set off my feet slipping
And I will sink under this land.
I will throw away that treasure box
Thats lost its own key
Im flying high outta here
Giving over misery.
Istepdown
Copyright ©
sally-heart-jack
... [
2006-09-29 23:24:46]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: The Absolute BLOOM
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Saturday, 30th September 2006 @ 02:23:12 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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this is awesome writing.
Hang tuff friend, as u r a great writer.
huggs,
emy |
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Re: The Absolute BLOOM
(User Rating: 1 )
by one-curly-fry on
Monday, 2nd October 2006 @ 06:15:48 AM AEST
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a Message)
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beautifully constructed. If you mean the first stanza - just run it through in your head a few times. You'll often find that it finds its natural beat that way.
I personally think it's all a very good poem and with some nice lines - esp. the stanzas that your addressing another person - good construction of ideas in short lines.
I feel this one and hope your not feeling too down.
Keep up the great work!
- Tim |
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