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blame it on love?
Contributed by
The_Unknown
on
Monday, 2nd October 2006 @ 02:58:39 AM in AEST
Topic:
MiscPoems
|
Tell me u want to
come on just say it
why can't u just be happy?
I don't think ill ever come back down
I need u defenceless to bend it alone
She says live off first impression
well my best side is
ur worst invention
incase u live without the attention
Can't u love without the invention?
Come on just say it!
Damage from way back when
I don't think ill ever come back down.
Ur free to say what u want
I'm makin a difference
It doesn't seem to make a difference
I need u to hold it alone
My best act is without ur guard
My best act is ur worst affection
I guess ur love is without invention
Ur love is without attention
Ur love is without affection
We've gone so far
I'm useless
Out of everyone everywhere
We can say we fell on our way
We've gone so far
Out of useless space
It caught us by surprise, it always waits for the right timing
So we're sure to be safe
Well here's a surprise for my face
U know. U know I don't
We've come too far
I'm useless space
We can say we fought our own
So u like to say surprise
But now ur finally here
I was just going to go on my own
Its like glass
We break so easily
And the world has turned its back on my faith
My faith has turned its back on me
I can't see my way through the fog
Goodbye lay the blame on love
Goodbye lay the blame on love
I'm so tiard of this mood
So pale, u let light get in ur way
U don't need sins to win
And I'm lost in sleep when I'm up
Goodbye, lay the blame on love
Lightning comes at any time
to break it down and make it ugly
It happened just for me
Yes it happened just for me
Because no one can feel the way I do
Just to make it ugly, just for me
Breaking me down
I wish no one in my place
Copyright ©
The_Unknown
... [
2006-10-02 02:58:39]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: blame it on love?
(User Rating: 1 )
by JoeyTrib1550 on
Monday, 2nd October 2006 @ 03:27:09 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
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I'm a little surprised that no one has commented on this yet.
There are some very good parts in it, but the poem suffers due to confusng content and the missing of a clear structure.
You ge the impression that you really tried to make it look and sound like a song(I could be wrong of course, in which case I apologize for making such assumption), which you did just fine, though I think except of concentrating on this, my advice is on concentrating more on the content of the verses which are sometimes confusing and/or just seem out of place.
Actually I think the only reason why nobody has posted any comments on this, is the fact that none of them really understood it.
Though I think it would be really sad to just leave it at that, forget that poem and try for another one
Use the material you've got here and just try to improve it, 'cause otherwise it would be such a waste, because for some reason, I quite like it, though it's, as said, improvable |
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Re: blame it on love?
(User Rating: 1 )
by The_Unknown on
Monday, 2nd October 2006 @ 11:12:27 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Yes I know, it is not my best work. This piece is actaully pretty bad in my opinion. I will try to improve it; and the meaning is not clear. Unfortunately the meaning its supposed to mean is very confusing.
Sorry it appears to be like a song, but it's not supossed to be.
But thank you for the comment.
I aprishiate it. |
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