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Lies
Contributed by
Amicus
on
Tuesday, 10th October 2006 @ 04:23:31 PM in AEST
Topic:
AngryPoetry
|
You've sent away all my friends
Now I'm alone and crying
This is going to be the end
This was the reason I stopped trying
To get to your heart
It's like your trying to tear me apart
After that I tried to hide
My mind completely and totally fried
All my "friends" look at me and sneer
Like I disgrace them for even being here
Tired of living in my fear
As I wipe away the last tear
To get to your heart
You are tearing me apart
After that I took charge
This rage I have is way too large
I slapped you in the face
Then punched him in the chest
Me winning wasn't the case
I wasn't anywhere close to the best
Wake up cold and half dead
My entire body's bloody read
I slowly hobble to my feet
The coming car is my defeat
Slowly the light drops me hell bound
No God doesn't even want me
My body was never found
Guess my new haven is hell to be
To get to your heart
You've already torn me apart
All because I wouldn't love you
Does that make me anymore untrue?
Copyright ©
Amicus
... [
2006-10-10 16:23:31]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Lies
(User Rating: 1 )
by BobbyZimmerman on
Tuesday, 10th October 2006 @ 05:54:32 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| Nice write, interesting rhyme scheme, I liked it a lot. |
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Re: Lies
(User Rating: 1 )
by aloneinthememory on
Tuesday, 10th October 2006 @ 06:21:19 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Love it, its very emotional. Makes a big impact when you read it. |
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Re: Lies
(User Rating: 1 )
by one-curly-fry on
Tuesday, 10th October 2006 @ 07:16:09 PM AEST
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a Message)
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A lot in this one. Sorry to hear it's based on an event in your life.
As mentioned in another comment - it is an interesting rhyming pattern. I'm also one for repeating important points in work to reinforce the meaning.
Good write!
- Tim |
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Re: Lies
(User Rating: 1 )
by shelby on
Tuesday, 10th October 2006 @ 07:47:13 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Stole my heart right from my chest with this one. Incredible amounts of emotions. I also liked your style here. I'm sorry that this was a true event in your life though that should not happen!
~Michelle~ |
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