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You wanted your Independence
Contributed by
jerseysue
on
Thursday, 12th October 2006 @ 02:33:14 AM in AEST
Topic:
StoryPoetry
|
You sit within your little room,
Forlorn and really sad,
Reading once again the letter,
You received from mum and dad,
They say their very happy,
That your doing so very well,
If only they coud see the truth,
And what your letters do not tell,
You tell your little white lies,
But in truth you feel alone,
You pretend things are fantastic,
When you call them on the phone,
You send letters full of happy news,
And tell them that things are fine,
And you hope they don't see the truth,
By reading between the lines,
They ask if they can visit,
And you reply, No way,
I want to be independent,
Is the words you always say,
You tell them you are 16.
Independent to the core,
You want to live your own life,
Your not their baby anymore,
So here you are within your room,
In a place you really despise,
Pretending that you are happy,
With another bunch of lies,
All it would take is for you to admit,
That perhaps you were really wrong,
That your not ready for independence,
And its home where you belong
Copyright ©
jerseysue
... [
2006-10-12 02:33:14]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: You wanted your Independence
(User Rating: 1 )
by starry_night on
Thursday, 12th October 2006 @ 03:21:02 AM AEST
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| Well constructed ... nice flow and rhythm, and the topic touches the heart ... great write. Jan |
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Re: You wanted your Independence
(User Rating: 1 )
by sadaddy on
Thursday, 12th October 2006 @ 03:23:37 AM AEST
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I really enjoyed the read. I truly know this story and I believe our daughter is living it right now. Thank you for sharing it with us. May your heart be filled with peace and joy.
sadaddy |
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Re: You wanted your Independence
(User Rating: 1 )
by strawberryshortcake on
Thursday, 12th October 2006 @ 06:28:28 AM AEST
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| great flow here. i like this poem. my daughter is 16 now & i thank God everyday for giving her the sense to know that only He can solve her problems & not to run from them.this can be an eye-opener for anyone with a teenager in the home. |
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Re: You wanted your Independence
(User Rating: 1 )
by Oneir8dude on
Thursday, 12th October 2006 @ 07:17:48 AM AEST
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SUE SUE SUE
Another great piece of work here... My daughter too is 16...
If she ever thought of doing this I would yank her butt back
into the house by her Hair LOL.... If only young ones would
realize that times are tough, they just have to tell Mom and
Dad and they can take it away.... So Sad...
Here in Iowa teens have to have a resricted liscence until
they are 18.. So we have leverage LOL Plus we as parents can
suspend it as well.... Nothing to do with your Beautiful
poem but I thought I would tell you anyway haha...
Seriously Thank You so much for your beautiful words...
Bill |
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Re: You wanted your Independence
(User Rating: 1 )
by chellebob on
Thursday, 12th October 2006 @ 08:21:09 AM AEST
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erm, wow, i don't know what to say to this other than you made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.
you are truly a great writer and i am inspired. |
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Re: You wanted your Independence
(User Rating: 1 )
by shelby on
Thursday, 12th October 2006 @ 02:40:09 PM AEST
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Such a beautiful write. I do not have a teen at home but this brought back to me many memories when I was raising my nephew and neice and I was also very young. She thought that the world was hers and she was the main apple in the basket, could do nothing with her. She came to find a few lessons the hard way, I let her make a couple big mistakes as she would never listen to anything I had to say!
So very true and I wish you the best!!
~Michelle~ |
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Re: You wanted your Independence
(User Rating: 1 )
by Ravensfire on
Thursday, 12th October 2006 @ 03:10:08 PM AEST
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| VERY well written, having raised 4 myself lol knows about the independent issues kids have. |
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Re: You wanted your Independence
(User Rating: 1 )
by lillyjane on
Friday, 13th October 2006 @ 06:14:16 AM AEST
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| Sue you hit the nail on the head here its so true of teens, I got married at 16 against my parents wishes, when it went wrong I would never admit they were right all along.. My children were the same as teenagers.. Brilliant poem xxxx |
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Re: You wanted your Independence
(User Rating: 1 )
by Disconnected on
Tuesday, 17th October 2006 @ 01:17:50 AM AEST
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Thank You for the comment before.
This poem makes alot of sense. I'm actually 16, and moving out in only 4 months. My situation is a little different.... Foster care... no mom and dad. But I can relate to it by knowing that teens do take parents for granted. Mainly for their independent reasons. Which is why we move out.
I liked this poem |
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