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Artists Distracted Leave Pretty Pictures Unfinished
Contributed by
sally-heart-jack
on
Saturday, 14th October 2006 @ 01:29:54 AM in AEST
Topic:
toughstuff
|
I picked up a pencil and sketched a rose so far
when you interrupted me.
You made it turn a little gray.
But not black.
You told me these stories,
your "bitterness" and "woe"
I wondered why you play this mess
Create your own freak show.
Why didn't you go? And run?
You didn't want to. You were really still sane.
You will even lay down just to entertain.
I want to go home while you still talk
You're sick and tired, and that rose
I think it was shrivelled, a soul that's always dead
obviously never grows
I know you're sad
and I know you're ill
Just sleep it off
Feel blank until
you know exactly
why you want to die
You focus so much on
every sad good-bye.
You sit and trace your difficulties.
You cry to be thrilled.
Open your eyes. Outstretch your hands.
I'm holding my wrist to the flames.
Hold my hand to the candle.
Glue your idol, hang the frame.
The shine from the wall gets me up every day
The cage I can sit in without fault.
I feel the urge to finish that rose
but you're putting attention to a halt.
Let me finish
what I initially
started to
sketch.
Copyright ©
sally-heart-jack
... [
2006-10-14 01:29:54]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Artists Distracted Leave Pretty Pictures Unfinished
(User Rating: 1 )
by loveisendless on
Saturday, 14th October 2006 @ 01:45:27 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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Intresting pattern! The message not only gets out,but sinks within too! A poem with a power,is a hard one to write so I think you've done a great job!!
DAN! |
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Re: Artists Distracted Leave Pretty Pictures Unfinished
(User Rating: 1 )
by one-curly-fry on
Saturday, 14th October 2006 @ 02:52:12 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Another nice poem from you. I like how you brought it back to the initial point - full circle - to establish the point after exploring the reasons behind your thoughts. Very cleverly constructed!
Good write!
- Tim |
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Re: Artists Distracted Leave Pretty Pictures Unfinished
(User Rating: 1 )
by Leoricx on
Saturday, 14th October 2006 @ 04:58:57 AM AEST
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a Message)
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The feeling and emotion practially drips from this, and I mean that in a good way. I love the last stanza, bare yet touching.
Keep it up, good write
:D |
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