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I Cannot See
Contributed by
deadheadpoet
on
Thursday, 19th October 2006 @ 04:52:44 PM in AEST
Topic:
anguished
|
I cannot see
what you see.
I cannot see
me.
I'm lost out on the freeway
horns honking,
brakes screeching,
black marks are laid.
I'm not going to find my way back;
I'm afraid.
I do so .....
want to get back on track
empty this damn full sac
of troubles.
All the woes that weigh me down;
dump 'em on the ground.
Be free from doubt.
Be sane for awhile,
see what that's all about.
Wish I could see things
like you do.
Why am I plagued by so many fears?
I've cried so many tears.
Now....
I cannot see.
Laura Horner
2005
Copyright ©
deadheadpoet
... [
2006-10-19 16:52:44]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: I Cannot See
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 19th October 2006 @ 05:06:37 PM AEST
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a Message)
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aw sis ... how much "awhile back" was this ? I hope it is
not how you are feeling now hun. Such pain and fear
surround this write. I feel your torture, hun ~
Still .. an interesting and skilled piece it is. There is
much in here to gather and relate to.
*hugs*
~MG |
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Re: I Cannot See
(User Rating: 1 )
by shelby on
Thursday, 19th October 2006 @ 05:22:41 PM AEST
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SIs,
intense emotions run throughout this write.
It played out so very clearly, almost made my heart race at times........
I hope that those fears are leaving you now.
~Michelle~ |
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Re: I Cannot See
(User Rating: 1 )
by Shmokin on
Thursday, 19th October 2006 @ 05:50:44 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| excellent expression of passive frustration, nice write, thanx for sharing :-) |
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Re: I Cannot See
(User Rating: 1 )
by Honey56 on
Thursday, 19th October 2006 @ 07:16:28 PM AEST
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a Message)
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A very nice write...Time is the cure for all our fears...Pain...Time is golden i say...
Blessings always...
honey56 |
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Re: I Cannot See
(User Rating: 1 )
by Oneir8dude on
Thursday, 19th October 2006 @ 10:31:36 PM AEST
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Oh! Laura! You made me really sad with this one...
But very well written... I thank You for letting
me see this side of you...
Thank You My friend
Bill |
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Re: I Cannot See
(User Rating: 1 )
by one-curly-fry on
Friday, 20th October 2006 @ 12:34:08 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Wow - I like this. The conversational tone, the use of words... it's a very good piece to give the reader the meaning while using a minimum of words. Very well done.
So many clever points in this - such as the first two stanzas and the forth and fifth.
Great write!
- Tim |
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Re: I Cannot See
(User Rating: 1 )
by strawberryshortcake on
Friday, 20th October 2006 @ 06:44:04 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| whoa, this is really a great piece of work. i like the way it carries out. good flow. |
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