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R.I.P.
Contributed by
LadyReeSee
on
Monday, 30th October 2006 @ 06:34:26 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
I feel that I am missing something in my life
Like a piece is missing out of my heart
Someone has it and its hard to let them go
Hard to go on in life when I know that I will never be whole
Never be full again, because you helped make me stronger
Not just my lover but also one of my best friends
Cause I could sit and tell you about everything
And know that youd understand and never judge me
I even let you meet my family
And I dont let just anyone do that
Heartbroken that we had this fight and I said we couldnt be friends
Knowing I was lying because I cant loose you
Like a cake with no icing
Its just not right
I know that I went off but thats because I was hurt
Felt like you were stomping on my heart
Blow after blow to my soul and I wanted to get you back
Make you hurt the way you hurt me
Saying words that I didnt mean
Know I would never say unless I was mad
And now I regret it so now Im sad
Because I know it will never be the same
I can already tell its started to change
You dont even look at me the same
The girl that never trys to put you down
Always try to lift you up
Because I know your life is tough
But let me be real
Its hard to always be positive, when I feel
That you dont do the same
Kind of felt like you were playing a game
Me as the boomerang you throw
And you know Id come back
Know that whatever you do I will always back you up
Never a relationship but always a friend with benefits of course,
Never took that step cause I let you have me without one
And its my fault cause I let you get comfortable with that
Because love really is blind
And you did take over my mind
Because you were all that I thought about
But recently my mind is telling me to wake up,
Maybe its just not meant to be,
He doesnt have the same feelings as me,
Didnt even open his heart all the way up
I dont know why, but maybe if I did, mines wouldnt be so broke
Said Id be real so thats what Im doing
Its tight but its right and its time that it was said
Time that it was laid to bed
Because Im tired of talking and explaining to you how I feel,
Maybe its time for this relationship to die,
Rest in peace, Ive already cried
Cried too much and the funerals over
Time to wipe up my tears and start over
Copyright ©
LadyReeSee
... [
2006-10-30 18:34:26]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: R.I.P.
(User Rating: 1 )
by yangdantien on
Monday, 30th October 2006 @ 11:52:39 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
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I would like to comment on the process of commentary itself as I have been around razor sharp yet pointless critics as well jolly listeners who offer a few words that have real meaning. I have read and read your piece you gain momentum and have a rhythym that expresses your questioning of the other. You maybe happy enough to publish your post but you ask for criticism as do I. With the task of the pen one can try to deconstruct and reconstruct the key elements for a pupose or effect such as to express and confess and or to rhyme into song. These pieces arent quite like minerals to be cut and polished more like an amalgam a jigsaw. I often try to remove the pronoun and work it for more expressive action then maybe add it back to make it more personal.I liked this well enough to post and perhpas we can learn from each others effort.
Thank you for the opportunity to speak on your work.
Peace
Yang |
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Re: R.I.P.
(User Rating: 1 )
by EddieDean on
Wednesday, 1st November 2006 @ 06:44:15 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Very powerful work, the way you wrote this is personnal, the imagery is vivid. We all hate to lose those we love, but its a cruel part of life, and we all have to go through it.
Nice work, from the heart, from the soul. You write what they tell you to write. Thats where the best work comes from.
Good work, keep it up.
Eddie Dean |
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