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THE LAST THOUGHTS OF A DYING GIRL
Contributed by
true
on
Monday, 30th October 2006 @ 11:15:06 PM in AEST
Topic:
Suicide
|
I am sick
I am dying
A feeling of time
Short and flying
The clock ticking in my ear
Not long now
I want to live
Once more before I die
I dont want to waste away
Fading into a stain on the bed sheets
Just waiting for my spark to go out
I want to feel alive
Not like I do
Some walking corpse
That is why Im here
I would rather leap off this cliff
And die flying
With the adrenaline pumping through my veins
My last feeling
The deadly impact
Of cleansing water
And gritty rock
A sharp pain
At least I won't be fading
My home is in the distance
Theyre running toward me now
But they know they wont get here in time
Time again
Its always about time
The grass is springy and soft beneath my feet
The wind is cool
Refreshing
Whipping away the smell of sickness
That has not left me in so long
Its cloudy today
I suppose thats fitting
I better jump soon
Im getting weaker
And theyre getting closer
I lean forward
Balancing on my toes
Time slows
Time affects all things
I feel the ground leave me
The rush
Strength I havent known in years
As if I could stop myself in midair
As if I could just fly away
And never be dragged down
By gravity and illness
The waves are frothy beneath me
The rocks are reaching toward me
So close now
Im finally free
Cleansing water and gritty rock
Sharp pain
Release
Copyright ©
true
... [
2006-10-30 23:15:06]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: THE LAST THOUGHTS OF A DYING GIRL
(User Rating: 1 )
by Chamaron on
Monday, 30th October 2006 @ 11:59:41 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| Very descriptive and powerful. I can almost feel as if I am there, or inside the girl's head. It seems like you are portraying the "go out with a bang" idea, which seems quite fitting under the circumstances presented. Excellent write and keep it up. |
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Re: THE LAST THOUGHTS OF A DYING GIRL
(User Rating: 1 )
by doug on
Tuesday, 31st October 2006 @ 01:00:49 PM AEST
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a Message)
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I think this one is quite special.
It certainly invokes feeling. You
have a way of taking seemingly
any subject , even those that have
been used many times before ,
and giving them a fresh new life.
No pun intended. lol I greatly
enjoyed this one. Truly , D |
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Re: THE LAST THOUGHTS OF A DYING GIRL
(User Rating: 1 )
by Kalika on
Tuesday, 31st October 2006 @ 04:46:15 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
I know all too well the feeling in these words. very well put together. If you feel the need to talk to someone who has been through something similar, I'm here and my ear is open. I don't know exactly what you've been through, but sometimes it helps to know your not the only one out there faceing that kind of decision.
love n peace
Kali |
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Re: THE LAST THOUGHTS OF A DYING GIRL
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 2nd November 2006 @ 08:53:05 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| This is a very dark and deep poem. Great Job! |
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