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daytripping
Contributed by
lostrelic
on
Thursday, 9th November 2006 @ 12:08:00 PM in AEST
Topic:
abstract
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are we ready for the dance this cosmic lightfoot
a slow waltz longing with sadistic overtones
scraping humanity off the cold path
dancing in places that never will last
dug in tight our city tumbles and sways
hearing the old breath slowly rasps and fades
remembering places when happiness was tasteless
feeling in darkness when time becomes wasted
seeing you walk in slumber chills
crushing ice with nimble steps
fighting tears that cover the eyes
dreams like bitter tears crumble in your wake
heavens given all they can to you
but you bend and break the walls
and make our city crumble and fade
Copyright ©
lostrelic
... [
2006-11-09 12:08:00]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: daytripping
(User Rating: 1 )
by shelby on
Thursday, 9th November 2006 @ 12:33:34 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Your writes always flow I like that.
loved this line
dreams like bitter tears crumble in your wake.
Michelle |
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Re: daytripping
(User Rating: 1 )
by trini on
Friday, 10th November 2006 @ 09:38:40 PM AEST
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I agree, this flowed really nicely. it was the title that caught me. im glad i read it.
thanks for the great write.
keep up the good work
-Trini |
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Re: daytripping
(User Rating: 1 )
by Cathi on
Thursday, 23rd July 2009 @ 03:28:03 AM AEST
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The poem reads like a beautiful dark dance. It draws you in; you don't want it to stop. The final word ends it nicely - not really ending the dance but rather "fading" it to the background.
Cathi |
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