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Snaps
Contributed by
yangdantien
on
Wednesday, 29th November 2006 @ 01:11:41 AM in AEST
Topic:
mystical
|
Snaps Into peas and dragons
with pop and crackle to follow
under princess' mattress'
and jolly green fellows,
festive but straight
to the crash then catch
released by law and size
the sport of spine
made from old an dust...
As once the earth was covered
miles high in rainbow colored mats
orange blues greens purples and reds
algae prokaryotes
each on an atoms track spewing
pollutions action
following elemental paths.
Sky became poison
killing whole generations of
thousands of years in the making
the first ghost emerges.
Cells without center
began to succumb under pressure
and folded into each other
protecting against ultra-violets
let in by an oxygen rich lens
as wounds became wombs when touched
bandages became sex
instead of viral copy
membranes arranged
around a nucleus
giving birth to cellular union
Out of survival, death
or the phantom limbs itch
DNA shifts gears and gains
another rung on the way
to your brain...
reading each line of text
which wanted to start with
yo mama's so big,
K-mart had to change "One size fit's all"
to "One size fits most"
when she stood up she covered the sun
which darkened the page
and snatched the next thought
out my head
to end this piece up with
with a whimper not a Dang.
AJPIII
Copyright ©
yangdantien
... [
2006-11-29 01:11:41]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Snaps
(User Rating: 1 )
by ClancyExistential on
Wednesday, 29th November 2006 @ 01:45:21 AM AEST
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a Message)
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I love it when a poet defies all order and conformity to tradtional prose and writes however his mind and heart agree upon...
your style is so crazy and fresh and it's yours and I hope it will never bend,
I printed this out and I can't wait to absorb it...
and hell ya I got your minute, come by Las Vegas and check it out.... |
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Re: Snaps
(User Rating: 1 )
by shelby on
Wednesday, 29th November 2006 @ 03:10:10 AM AEST
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Ahhhh, nothing I will say will do this justice as it deserves. I love your style, yout thought, pen, mind mmmmm Im blabbing now. Damn man all I can say is yesssssssss!
sweet dreams to you my friend
Michelle |
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Re: Snaps
(User Rating: 1 )
by Eternal_Dreamer on
Wednesday, 29th November 2006 @ 06:51:33 AM AEST
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I have more than a minute for you my dear friend ~
Every now and then there'll come along a poet who can render his reader speechless with the amazing work that he pens and delivers. You are a very talented and gifted writer dearest AJ~ Your work is different and unique. I have become a devoted fan of your brilliant poetry. Keep up the outstanding work~ I see you shining bright my dear friend~ The sweetest of dreams and the best of wishes cast your way~
love n hugs from ur fan/friend,
sue m |
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Re: Snaps
(User Rating: 1 )
by the_wampum_pimp on
Wednesday, 29th November 2006 @ 10:40:30 AM AEST
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| I must say that at first I was rendered speechless. This was like listening to someone's manic episode. You mimic (or at least I hope) such insanity very well. This has a sort of unstructured genious that I found very refreshing. Keep it up. |
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Re: Snaps
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on
Thursday, 30th November 2006 @ 03:44:39 AM AEST
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Quite an entertaining and clever read. Somehow you've managed to keep your words in hand here, even while they're spread to the four winds with all the abandon of... a mead-drunk sower, maybe?
Sometimes I find myself set up for a comparison that doesn't quite exist...
Methinks I detect an echoing of Eliot in the last line?
Keep it up.
Andrew |
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Re: Snaps
(User Rating: 1 )
by deadheadpoet on
Saturday, 2nd December 2006 @ 02:40:51 PM AEST
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Hee Hee 4:19 got a minute. I so love you, man. You are a smooth brother. This is dreamy and mind consuming. I was lost in the breathing web, of life's make-up. The last stanza what an interruption, huh? Dang. Thanks for sharing your talent.
Peace and hugs,
Laura |
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Re: Snaps
(User Rating: 1 )
by Ratwick on
Wednesday, 13th December 2006 @ 12:39:18 AM AEST
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K, I like this one alot! I dont fully understand it yet, and man, thats a deep one to ponder before a 4:20 sesh..sheez! Im gonna read that one again in a bit! Its good!
Btw- I can't believe that you use "its 4:19, got a min.?" me and some old friends back in tha day used to say that..i still do when i notice its 4:19..but that is awesome!!
Thanks for posting and suggesting the read!
Write On!
Happy 4:20
Peace |
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Re: Snaps
(User Rating: 1 )
by CuriousitysCat on
Tuesday, 9th January 2007 @ 11:30:23 PM AEST
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a Message)
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I dig this, the use of biological and scientific terms in general kinda threw me but I hung on as much as possible [considering i am in biology right now lol]. Definately out of the blue experience for me to read something of this sort, which is awesome. Not to mention the fact that it just reads well.
;]
~ThEnD |
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