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Pushed to the Limit
Contributed by
eternalnight4x
on
Friday, 8th December 2006 @ 05:28:14 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
She pushes her body to the limit
With a drag and a hit
She destroys her lungs
Blackened from within
Suffocation
The cancer sprouts and grows
Consumes the body
Devours it whole
She pushes her body to the limit
With that daily morning acid
Deterioration of her stomach
As an artificial life source surges
Throughout her veins in replace of sleep
That never comes
In late hours of the night
When the credits start to wind
She skims through pristine screenplays
Of lives she could have had
She pushes her body to the limit
Through depravation strength escapes
Muscles wane and reveal
The fragile framework of her hallow
Sunken body
A beginning without an introduction
A plot without a climax
An ending without a conclusion
It starts from within and spreads outside
A physical demise precedes a mental demise
She pushes her body to the limit
How much longer can she last?
If her bodys reached its limit
Does the tragedy conclude?
When her bodys reached the limit
Has she reached her limit as well?
Copyright ©
eternalnight4x
... [
2006-12-08 17:28:14]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Pushed to the Limit
(User Rating: 1 )
by kims4ever on
Friday, 8th December 2006 @ 06:44:19 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| Having lost a loved one to cancer from smoking, I fell that this is a credible write. Not only does it push thier bodies to the limit, but it pushes the emotions of thier loved ones to the limit as well. Great write with great symbolism, sad to say, but i could picture my grandmother lying in that hospital bed after reading your poem, good job....... |
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Re: Pushed to the Limit
(User Rating: 1 )
by NDean on
Saturday, 9th December 2006 @ 08:59:13 AM AEST
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a Message)
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From NDean: Fantastic. SOOOOOO well written. It flows and the vocab..... ACE. ***** x 100
From Errious: I love the imagery used. Very metaphorical and extremely well written. Good flow. wow. |
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Re: Pushed to the Limit
(User Rating: 1 )
by NDean on
Saturday, 9th December 2006 @ 09:00:39 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| Just read your notes, You could edit the ending but its ACE anyway. Cool Poem |
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