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Alive
Contributed by
CuriousitysCat
on
Friday, 12th January 2007 @ 11:03:20 PM in AEST
Topic:
hbadday
|
As it all falls away
I realize that in the end it's just down to me
"Though I know little of myself" I contemplate
Solemnly
Really I find little to say
As I scope my mind
It seems as though there's a lack of substance
And this is half new and part replay
Generally it looks complicated and twisted at first glance
But there's not much; it's slightly slanted
Mostly I just look broken
That's granted
And I cringe as this merciless light surrounds me
Weakly I attempt to crawl back into my world
Of darkness
Rejected; I walk on, eyes half closed, lids heavy;sleepy
I'm caught on something; I writh and jerk; restless
No one can hear these silent screams
They tear at my throat
I've yet to tell myself I'm stuck in my own harsh
Dreams...
~ThEnD
Copyright ©
CuriousitysCat
... [
2007-01-12 23:03:20]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Alive
(User Rating: 1 )
by deadheadpoet on
Saturday, 13th January 2007 @ 11:58:45 AM AEST
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Riveting write. That ending is something else. I had to reread this piece a couple of times..it sort of sucked me into it. Good stuff.
Peace and hugs,
Laura |
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Re: Alive
(User Rating: 1 )
by yangdantien on
Saturday, 13th January 2007 @ 02:29:58 PM AEST
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Ah the syrup of enhanced gravity in dreams a resistance we then can name when we are awake:
"...Really I find little to say
As I scope my mind
It seems as though there's a lack of substance..."
When inspired the muse fill the vacancy with textures of imagination...
I found myself remembering similar dreams.
Good Job
Peace
Yangdantien |
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Re: Alive
(User Rating: 1 )
by MisfitMe on
Saturday, 13th January 2007 @ 08:11:36 PM AEST
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It's quite disheartening when your own darkness comes to represent security or at least the comfort of familiarity & then denys you its embrace...but, sometimes it's the swift kick in the pants we need towards a light we perhaps don't yet know we need to see...
BigLove~MisfitMum |
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Re: Alive
(User Rating: 1 )
by Clarity_Rising on
Saturday, 13th January 2007 @ 11:44:32 PM AEST
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Your agony is very apparent in this poem.
I really like how you use several different
well described images to illustrate your mental
state and life. Excellent write!
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Re: Alive
(User Rating: 1 )
by Bleedthelove on
Wednesday, 24th January 2007 @ 05:16:11 PM AEST
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| Unique piece. Good job. |
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