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Silent Dime (rewrite)
Contributed by
drapes
on
Saturday, 13th January 2007 @ 02:49:13 PM in AEST
Topic:
Lifepoems
|
Just above the heads
Of a couple struck with love,
Lies a single tarnished dime
On the rafter coated with dust.
Through the squeaks and the creaks,
The dime has heard it all,
Gossip, rumors, truths and dares
Shadows on the wall.
Placed there so discretely
On an early summers night,
During a time of just not caring,
When everything felt so right.
The dime has seen the faces
Of the happy, sad, and thrilled.
Of past cliques and relationships
When their hearts were filled.
Its seen them at their worst,
When none could utter a sound.
But yet the best days of their lives
Were spent laughing on that ground.
Arguments and spaz attacks,
Games of ERS,
"Studying" without the books,
An unexplainable mess.
"Nothing leaves the basement"
The dime has heard their rule.
What's discussed during ping-pong,
The acts done while playing pool.
The dime remembers them well,
Wild kids and careless teens,
Without a worry in the world,
They had easy reachable dreams.
Though as the layers of dust compile,
The dime grows bored and lonely.
They've moved on to the real world
Of heartbreaks, fights and money.
If remembered, the dime'd be thrown
Into a forgotten tin
So quietly, he sits and waits
For the next generation to begin.
8.25.06
For...
The Champs
The Sevens
The Cupcake & his fruit
Peacocks, Potatoes, Jackets,
Sammy, Eeyore, Rose
The Class of 2010
Pao & Jet
Nesbitt, Crispie, Hooters
Tuna, Strawberry, Beaner
Chip & Dip
Egop
Box Lady
Plozer
...My Best Friends
Copyright ©
drapes
... [
2007-01-13 14:49:13]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Silent Dime (rewrite)
(User Rating: 1 )
by yangdantien on
Saturday, 13th January 2007 @ 03:35:30 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
A well composed piece... 10 quatrains with an excellent metric...In my opinion. You have honored the 'Dime' with a well wrought treatment.
I look forward to reading more of your work.
Peace
Yangdantien |
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Re: Silent Dime (rewrite)
(User Rating: 1 )
by kishdaswani on
Sunday, 14th January 2007 @ 09:55:54 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
nice write , i can easily imagine the dime and the various events that it has witnessed.....
beautiful!!
cheers,
kish |
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Re: Silent Dime (rewrite)
(User Rating: 1 )
by NoSaint on
Sunday, 14th January 2007 @ 09:44:37 PM AEST
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a Message)
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amazing form and flow
Shari |
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Re: Silent Dime (rewrite)
(User Rating: 1 )
by tifrob on
Monday, 15th January 2007 @ 02:59:11 PM AEST
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a Message)
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I loved it!!!
~Me~ |
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