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Foolish actions
Contributed by
Caged Soul
on
Monday, 22nd January 2007 @ 03:01:23 AM in AEST
Topic:
Grief
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cock crowing early morning fire smoke clings the air breaking dawn, sun rays distorted by paraffin lamp cracked rusted sheets of zinc moans around wooden frame.
Young Man awakes from slumber traumatized by dreams of the night before dreams that have their origin from a visit to the Healer Man two weeks ago Young Man vision blurred by ignorance & miseducation glassy eyes stares at his feet advise from Friend plays in his mind.
Desperate for salvation from his dire situation he sets off in an attempt to change his destiny a destiny determined by his foolish actions
He sees Little Girl running in the road the lure of the innocent to cure the scorned he closes his eyes as he tries to muffle the cries of Little Girl
After all he leaves shaken leaving Little Girl laying torn in her own blood her destiny altered by Young Mans foolish actions
One month later Little Girl lays in hospital recovering from bodily bruises, but there aint no cure for the evil Young Man left behind Young Man behind bars for 10 years conscious plagues him knowing unable to take it razors edge become all too tempting
Young Man now victim to his own foolish actions
Copyright ©
Caged Soul
... [
2007-01-22 03:01:23] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Foolish actions
(User Rating: 1 ) by damned_saint on
Monday, 22nd January 2007 @ 06:21:19 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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very very haunting...
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Re: Foolish actions
(User Rating: 1 ) by PhantomVampyress on
Monday, 22nd January 2007 @ 09:59:18 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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very good imagery and very powerful write.. its very chilling because this kind of stuff does happen.. its almost like the sins are haunting the person. very well written piece
Vampyress Jenni |
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Re: Foolish actions
(User Rating: 1 ) by deadheadpoet on
Monday, 22nd January 2007 @ 01:03:37 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Ash, You must not stay gone so long at a time. I miss your writing. This was really a hard-hitting piece. Very moving. I cannot help but feel so much sadness for the girl and the young man who obviously made some bad choices. This is a great story. Is it fact? The last line really sealed it for me, separating it like that made it stand out very well.
Thanks for sharing.
Peace and hugs,
Laura |
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Re: Foolish actions
(User Rating: 1 ) by Caged Soul on
Monday, 29th January 2007 @ 03:14:25 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Hi guys, thanx for taking the time to read my poem.
I thought it would be good to give some clarity for the motivation behind the poem, so if you have the time, follow this link: http://www.news24.com/News24/South_Africa/News/0,,2-7-1442_1462561,00.html
Thanx again, much love |
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