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Foolish actions

Contributed by Caged Soul on Monday, 22nd January 2007 @ 03:01:23 AM in AEST
Topic: Grief



cock crowing early morning
fire smoke clings the air
breaking dawn, sun rays distorted
by paraffin lamp cracked
rusted sheets of zinc moans
around wooden frame.

Young Man awakes from slumber
traumatized by dreams of the night before
dreams that have their origin from
a visit to the Healer Man two weeks ago
Young Man vision blurred by ignorance
& miseducation
glassy eyes stares at his feet
advise from Friend plays in his mind.

Desperate for salvation from his dire situation
he sets off in an attempt to change his destiny
a destiny determined by his foolish actions

He sees Little Girl running in the road
the lure of the innocent to cure the scorned
he closes his eyes as he tries to
muffle the cries of Little Girl

After all he leaves shaken
leaving Little Girl laying torn in her own blood
her destiny altered by Young Mans foolish actions

One month later Little Girl lays in hospital
recovering from bodily bruises, but there aint no cure
for the evil Young Man left behind
Young Man behind bars for 10 years
conscious plagues him knowing
unable to take it
razors edge become all too tempting

Young Man now victim to his own foolish actions




Copyright © Caged Soul ... [ 2007-01-22 03:01:23]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: Foolish actions (User Rating: 1 )
by damned_saint on Monday, 22nd January 2007 @ 06:21:19 AM AEST
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very very haunting...



Re: Foolish actions (User Rating: 1 )
by PhantomVampyress on Monday, 22nd January 2007 @ 09:59:18 AM AEST
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very good imagery and very powerful write.. its very chilling because this kind of stuff does happen.. its almost like the sins are haunting the person. very well written piece

Vampyress Jenni


Re: Foolish actions (User Rating: 1 )
by deadheadpoet on Monday, 22nd January 2007 @ 01:03:37 PM AEST
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Ash, You must not stay gone so long at a time. I miss your writing. This was really a hard-hitting piece. Very moving. I cannot help but feel so much sadness for the girl and the young man who obviously made some bad choices. This is a great story. Is it fact? The last line really sealed it for me, separating it like that made it stand out very well.
Thanks for sharing.
Peace and hugs,
Laura


Re: Foolish actions (User Rating: 1 )
by Caged Soul on Monday, 29th January 2007 @ 03:14:25 AM AEST
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Hi guys, thanx for taking the time to read my poem.

I thought it would be good to give some clarity for the motivation behind the poem, so if you have the time, follow this link: http://www.news24.com/News24/South_Africa/News/0,,2-7-1442_1462561,00.html

Thanx again, much love




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