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The Sun Minus Its' Heat
Contributed by
Channing
on
Saturday, 10th February 2007 @ 11:39:16 AM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
What will we do
When the sun doesnt rise?
Leaving us in the dark
Robbing us of our warmth
What will we do
When the clouds cover the sky?
Raining down a liquid hell
Drowning us where we stand
What will we do
When Earth is a sheet of ice?
Freezing all we know
Killing our inertia
What will we do
When our loved ones die?
Dropping one by one
Leaving us completely alone
What will we do?
Just what in the name of God
Will we do?
Thats rightnothing
-Channing-
Copyright ©
Channing
... [
2007-02-10 11:39:16]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: The Sun Minus Its' Heat
(User Rating: 1 )
by Xbxg32000 on
Saturday, 10th February 2007 @ 02:07:12 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
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Nicely written, I enjoyed reading this. I have a suggestion for the ending though, maybe instead of "That's right...nothing." you can have:
"Fight or remain still?" at the end, which could give the poem a unique feeling at the end. It's just my suggestion, you know how you want your poem to be :].
Once again, great job! |
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Re: The Sun Minus Its' Heat
(User Rating: 1 )
by Malcolmsdreamgirl on
Saturday, 10th February 2007 @ 02:39:51 PM AEST
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a Message)
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I liked this very much .......... but it left me feeling very very sad ......
Excellent write
Dee xx |
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