|
 Menu
|
|
|
|
|
Social
|
|
|
|
|
1:04 AM
Contributed by
Xbxg32000
on
Saturday, 10th February 2007 @ 02:01:18 PM in AEST
Topic:
LovePoetry
|
The imprints of my skin,
glaze along the edges of your existence;
as my fingers trail across,
the pores of your flesh:
which narrates such beautiful words for me.
I have defeated distance,
as I can absorb every trace of your movements.
Please don't start such a delicate procedure:
your attempt to conceal,
the smile blooming across your face;
passing through the silk of your hair,
and sinking into the pupils within my eyes.
This session is void of verbal responses;
As the distinct melodies drown out the world.
The subtle rustling of your hair;
as your index finger clings onto each strand,
tugging gingerly, as if to pick off,
the dry leaves off a tree,
as Fall begins.
Descending into the crevices of your neck;
a staircase decorated with the soft vibrance,
of lush gems adorning your ears.
I've abruptly started your symphony,
of inhales and exhales,
as the silhouette of my lips,
snug into the curvature of your skin.
You've went past the threshold of my reservoir,
as you rest along the outline of my shoulders.
If I could only solder your existence,
onto the layers of my skin;
all while caressing the tiny goosebumps,
that rise hesitantly across your spine.
Escalating into an unraveling of poetry,
your words have seared off my hearing.
As the beauty piecing my love together,
delves into an act of graceful kisses;
sliding off the laces aligning your body,
as the phone slips into its cradle.
----------------------------------------------------------------
Phew, I love this poem. I think it came out beautifully!
Description (please read only after reading the poem due to "spoilers"):
This poem centers around a lot of emotions taking place through a phone conversation between two partners in a loving, serious relationship (the phone conversation seems unlikely until the end). The first stanza has this line:
"glaze along the edges of your existence"
Where her "existence" is actually the phone, and the edges of the phone is what is being spoken of here (although talking about her body is assumed while first reading this poem, which is the nice touch that I aimed for throughout the poem).
As the poem progresses, lines such as:
"your attempt to conceal,
the smile blooming across your face;"
And:
"The subtle rustling of your hair;"
Describe the expressions taking place during the poem; as she is smiling far away elsewhere, but he is still able to define her smile, as well as when she plays with her hair during the conversation. Stanza 4 includes more lines that speak of the amount of true love filling the atmosphere during the span of the conversation, and how his admiration for her is stated through lines such as:
"as the silhouette of my lips,
snug into the curvature of your skin."
Then we reach Stanza 5, and here we can see another glimpse at the reality of the poem, as it reads:
"If I could only solder your existence,
onto the layers of my skin;"
Where it is talking about his deep admiration for her, so much as to solder the phone onto his ear, so that he would be able to be with her all throughout the day, hearing her voice and speaking to her. Then we reach Stanza 6, where we see the lines:
"sliding off the laces aligning your body,
as the phone slips into its cradle."
This may first be interpreted as an act of sexual intercourse, but as the last line is read, it is shown that the entire poem was really a conversation that took place over the phone. So yes, that's my description/explanation for this poem. I really enjoyed writing it and reading the final result! :].
I would really appreciate comments! Please do tell me how you feel about this poem :]. I hope you enjoyed it :].
Originally posted at: http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/48446327/
-Salman
Copyright ©
Xbxg32000
... [
2007-02-10 14:01:18]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
Advertisments:
|
|
|
|
|
|
Sorry, comments are no longer allowed for anonymous, please register for a free membership to access this feature and more
|
|
All comments are owned by the poster. Your Poetry
Dot Com is not responsible for the content of any
comment.
That said, if you find an offensive comment, please
contact via the FeedBack Form with details, including poem title
etc.
|
|
|
Re: 1:04 AM
(User Rating: 1 )
by Malcolmsdreamgirl on
Saturday, 10th February 2007 @ 02:44:58 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
WOW.................... Hot stuff .... sensual, deep, romantic, full of desire with maybe a touch of lust? .......... Mmmmm....... I liked it
Dee xx |
|
|
Re: 1:04 AM
(User Rating: 1 )
by skibblez on
Saturday, 10th February 2007 @ 04:16:17 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| i like itt i really enjoyed how yeww described it to tha reader really good stuff...**skittles** |
|
|
Re: 1:04 AM
(User Rating: 1 )
by Eternal_Dreamer on
Monday, 12th February 2007 @ 04:09:58 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Wow, this is hot, romantic and very well written indeed. I absolutely love how you put a detailed explaination at the end of your poem. Top stuff, excellent writing. I thoroughly enjoyed this~
*warm hugs*
sue m |
|
|
|
· 
Poetry
Community
Members
Areas
Reference
Search
Top
Others
