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Forging Feelings
Contributed by
unleashed
on
Tuesday, 13th February 2007 @ 03:10:30 PM in AEST
Topic:
LostLove
|
the first time i met you
it really was true
when i smiled and laughed
and i thought i knew
that you and me
would last and last
but now i know
it was all in the past
but i still lie
to everyone
you wouldnt think i've changed
since this all begun
but i have forged
this smile on my face
and laugh you hear
is all too fake
i wish you could hear
my heart cry out
but i'm way too brave
ill mute my shouts
i was way too brave
till the dam in my heart
cracked and split
and fell apart
these words leaked out
theyre all i own
at least until
this poem's done
then what do i have?
naught but a brain
and a empty heart
that's filled with pain
Copyright ©
unleashed
... [
2007-02-13 15:10:30]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Forging Feelings
(User Rating: 1 )
by PhantomVampyress on
Tuesday, 13th February 2007 @ 04:21:51 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
this sounds like a tune actually and the wording is well penned out.. great job
vampyress Jenni |
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Re: Forging Feelings
(User Rating: 1 )
by brew on
Tuesday, 13th February 2007 @ 09:15:31 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Great Title, and good penned, thoughts. Hope it works for ya.
Brew~ |
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Re: Forging Feelings
(User Rating: 1 )
by ButchCorpuz on
Tuesday, 13th February 2007 @ 10:31:07 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Nice write! Can't wait to hear it with tunes.
Keep writing!
Butch Corpuz |
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Re: Forging Feelings
(User Rating: 1 )
by Keilantra on
Sunday, 25th February 2007 @ 01:24:37 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Love the second stanza. I think your need some punctuation,
I like it, though.
xXx
Kei |
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