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Silver Striations
Contributed by
daniella
on
Friday, 16th February 2007 @ 12:36:33 PM in AEST
Topic:
SecretLove
|
And i could always imagine a field
The golden wheat a cold blue in the twilight
The moon sheds light enough to see and he waits for me
His eyes reflecting the soft light
Its easy to be delusional
When its so damn cold beneath the sheets
When theres nothing of anything to touch
And therere people making love
In all the right places
Ohhhh I want him to love me too much
Ooooo oh ba dah dum
It was never enough to love his eyes
If the silver striations wont glow
And if I reach out my hand
It wont change preordained constellations
That are never too faded to show
Without you I could never go
And I could always imagine an ocean
The surface rippling to pieces just to mend
The moon pulls at the sea and he waits for me
A ship swiftly sailing in a night devoid of wind
Its easy to be crazy
When youre always on your knees but never ever to pray
When theres nothing to love
And therere bodies stealing warmth from each other
For all the wrong reasons
Ohhhhh I want him to miss me too much
Ooooo oh ba dah dum
It was never enough to love his eyes
If the silver striations wont glow
And if I reach out my hand
It wont change preordained constellations
That are never too faded to show
Without you I could never go
Copyright ©
daniella
... [
2007-02-16 12:36:33]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Silver Striations
(User Rating: 1 )
by yangdantien on
Friday, 16th February 2007 @ 03:21:24 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
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There are some very good elements here and I could only add a small amount of polishing and a bit of omission may really make this piece jump up and sparkle.
Good Job
Peace
Yangdantien |
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