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What Happened?
Contributed by
musicXisXlife
on
Sunday, 25th February 2007 @ 02:32:04 AM in AEST
Topic:
abstract
|
he's staring at his feet
afraid to look the world in its face
his inner feelings shine through
and are broadcasted so all can see
-inferior.
The man has shame tattooed on the back of his neck.
and his actions now-
make you wonder-
how did he get like this?
what was he like before?
Slowly, carefully, shyly
he kicks around a rock
as if afraid to let it get too far away from him.
then he kicks it too hard
and rushes to stop it, with his foot
but stumples, stepping on the rock.
he falls to the ground
and even though he's fine
he doesn't get up.
Copyright ©
musicXisXlife
... [
2007-02-25 02:32:04]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: What Happened?
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on
Sunday, 25th February 2007 @ 04:20:22 AM AEST
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a Message)
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This is pretty good; detailed, original in its images, and makes its point without superfluity. I can't find much in the way of faults. Nicely done.
Andrew |
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Re: What Happened?
(User Rating: 1 )
by PhantomVampyress on
Sunday, 25th February 2007 @ 11:15:11 AM AEST
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a Message)
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I really liked this piece.. it makes you think about things.. Its well written and great imagery
vampyress jenni |
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Re: What Happened?
(User Rating: 1 )
by yangdantien on
Sunday, 25th February 2007 @ 04:52:00 PM AEST
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a Message)
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I really like this and it rings many bells. Composed without resolution, a question addressed yet left unanswered in wonderment.
Well Done
Peace
Yangdantien |
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Re: What Happened?
(User Rating: 1 )
by Whisper on
Sunday, 25th February 2007 @ 05:48:40 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Hmm that is quite the write Turptaion to the read is sad, low esteem and slow grounded. No reason to look up .I wonder is he blind or just mislead to believe.
Thanks fer sharing
Whisper |
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Re: What Happened?
(User Rating: 1 )
by The_Unknown on
Thursday, 8th March 2007 @ 08:38:00 PM AEST
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Hey,
This is a really good. I like the imagery. Its really different than most poems. I like it, a lot. Keep up the good work babe, ily.
-Jess |
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Re: What Happened?
(User Rating: 1 )
by unknown_utopia on
Saturday, 26th January 2008 @ 07:09:25 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| The imagery that flows is outstanding |
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