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Eroding
Contributed by
Phantomvampyress
on
Sunday, 25th February 2007 @ 06:50:17 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
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Dancing in razors
swaying and contorting
twisting to the rythm the music
flows within
your loving the pleasure
your addicted to the sin
suck in some smoke
pulse through the skin
feeding core
you lusting whore
sexual names
coroding gaze
looking to you
I spit up blood
sick to the stomach
tears of deception
once again flow
turning for the door
you remember I told you and sold you
now your the decayed shell in the corridor
Jenni
Copyright ©
Phantomvampyress
... [
2007-02-25 18:50:17]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Eroding
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Sunday, 25th February 2007 @ 06:57:13 PM AEST
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Well it's written well but gory for me any ways.
Good writing.
huggs,
emy |
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Re: Eroding
(User Rating: 1 )
by needledancing on
Sunday, 25th February 2007 @ 11:05:49 PM AEST
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| I am thinking this is about smoking????If i'm right.....great...if not....I'd like to hear what was in your thought as you wrote this. |
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Re: Eroding
(User Rating: 1 )
by myheartsvoice on
Monday, 26th February 2007 @ 02:26:48 PM AEST
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A nice flow i'm noticing and this one is quite in your face nice approach. As always lovely
work you do. Convey's alot of feeling and sincerity.
Ben |
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Re: Eroding
(User Rating: 1 )
by yangdantien on
Monday, 26th February 2007 @ 10:10:41 PM AEST
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A descending spiral of rave & binge capturing a life losing grip to demise.
Awesome
Peace
Yang |
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Re: Eroding
(User Rating: 1 )
by darkangeleyes57 on
Tuesday, 27th February 2007 @ 07:28:29 AM AEST
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This was so beautiful and I can relate to this so much that I have tears in my eyes.
Beautiful poem Jenni. Wonderful job.
Take care
Christina |
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Re: Eroding
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 2nd March 2007 @ 05:11:21 PM AEST
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wow Jenni .. this was powerful. A shedding of sorts ..
there is so much in here .. and though painful in
part, I do hope it was an act of cleansing ..
great post!
~Breezy |
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Re: Eroding
(User Rating: 1 )
by Epic on
Monday, 12th March 2007 @ 12:27:59 AM AEST
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| good intense write. |
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Re: Eroding
(User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on
Thursday, 15th March 2007 @ 06:44:56 PM AEST
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Wow Jenni; such an emotive write! My apologies for taking so long to venture to your account page, but I'm glad I finally did! This is a raw piece, that has the feel of something that has been pent-up for far too long... I get a feeling of anger, bitterness, and resentment, and some satisfaction, perhaps in coming out a stronger person because of the circumstance(s)...?
I enjoyed the read : )
~Scorp. |
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Re: Eroding
(User Rating: 1 )
by Eternal_Dreamer on
Friday, 23rd March 2007 @ 07:22:51 PM AEST
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Hey Jenstar, it's been a while since I last stopped by your pages my dear friend.
I have to echo Scorpy's sentiments on this one.
A real raw emotive piece. Thanks so much for sharing it with us hun.
love n hugs,
sue m
(who has missed Jen heaps) |
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Re: Eroding
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 8th April 2007 @ 04:19:28 AM AEST
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VERY strong sentiment from this, such force in your words!
I love emotive pieces! |
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Re: Eroding
(User Rating: 1 )
by Clarity_Rising on
Sunday, 15th April 2007 @ 02:22:48 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Wow, this is an intensely dark poem,
but I really enjoyed it. The complexity
of different possible situations is
intriguing. Great rhyme scheme as well.
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Re: Eroding
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Sunday, 15th April 2007 @ 06:57:54 AM AEST
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from that dark and creepy place, but whats most scary is i understand perfectly, so deep and powerful.
hugs n' love nessa |
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Re: Eroding
(User Rating: 1 )
by GraveTypeBed on
Wednesday, 20th February 2008 @ 12:15:11 AM AEST
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Sounds like a bring me the horizon poem XD
Very Dark, Vey Interesting... |
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Re: Eroding
(User Rating: 1 )
by wheels on
Tuesday, 1st July 2008 @ 01:40:52 PM AEST
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Wow. powerful stuff here. Leaving behind a past self or a scorned lover? I think the latter. In any case - very emotional ans powerful
--Kevin
the lonely vagabond |
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