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How You Make Me Feel
Contributed by
hiku
on
Monday, 5th March 2007 @ 10:06:35 PM in AEST
Topic:
SadPoetry
|
If only you would love me, and let me feel your embrace,
If only you would see me, and let me touch your face.
You dont know how it feels, to go about my day,
And go home to a room, in which my sorrows are where I lay
You dont know how it feels, not to let you know,
So I just let you slip right through my fingers, let you go.
It hurts inside, pain in which i can stand no more,
Ive never let anyone know what lies behind the closed door.
I wish that the pain would stop, and it would go away,
I wish I could tell you but cant, for fear of scaring you away.
Copyright ©
hiku
... [
2007-03-05 22:06:35]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: How You Make Me Feel
(User Rating: 1 )
by blueeyedevil13 on
Monday, 5th March 2007 @ 10:30:00 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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I like the way the poem flows. except for in the sixth line at the end, after the comma. its too short for the rhythm. but i like it just the same. :)
i know how you feel... i hope it gets better.
*hugs*
w. |
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Re: How You Make Me Feel
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 5th March 2007 @ 10:48:36 PM AEST
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I still haven't read your other work, but I must admit this is a very good piece. I really enjoyed it and the sadness behind it really came through.
Nice work |
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