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Three Times Dead
Contributed by
Rakerman1999
on
Tuesday, 6th March 2007 @ 01:24:26 PM in AEST
Topic:
MiscPoems
|
Death from depression
a dreamers disease
that muddles the mind
and weakens the knees
A type of dementia
that starts in the head
and kills long before
the victim is dead
Death from the boredom
the endless routine
that leaves a man restless
and hungry and mean
A type of starvation
that makes you grow old
and kills long before
the body is cold
Death from the conscience
a fatal embrace
that knifes in the back
then smiles to the face
A type of affliction
that torments the soul
and kills long before
the years take their toll
L. Carling c2007
Copyright ©
Rakerman1999
... [
2007-03-06 13:24:26]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Three Times Dead
(User Rating: 1 )
by Kellros on
Tuesday, 6th March 2007 @ 01:49:52 PM AEST
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I liked this a lot and very well written,
well done. |
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Re: Three Times Dead
(User Rating: 1 )
by elle on
Tuesday, 6th March 2007 @ 05:02:41 PM AEST
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| I like it... |
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Re: Three Times Dead
(User Rating: 1 )
by thumper on
Tuesday, 6th March 2007 @ 06:18:48 PM AEST
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This is SO true! Very descriptive of depression. This is a totally different view of depression that I had not thought of. Great R&R. Kudos!
I hope that you feel better soon. I wouldn't wish depression on my worst enemy. (or maybe........)
Anyhow.... Peace to you,
Thumper ;o)
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Re: Three Times Dead
(User Rating: 1 )
by ashleigh on
Tuesday, 6th March 2007 @ 06:27:23 PM AEST
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Oh boy, was I hooked when I read that first line. Very easy to read, and somewhat dark.. I loved it. That is one of my favorites.
Keep it up
Ash |
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Re: Three Times Dead
(User Rating: 1 )
by GingerB on
Tuesday, 6th March 2007 @ 07:25:52 PM AEST
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I miss your work so much, Larry.
Hope all is well.
Hugs to Xavier..
Ginny |
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Re: Three Times Dead
(User Rating: 1 )
by yangdantien on
Tuesday, 6th March 2007 @ 09:05:50 PM AEST
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This has a classic rhythm and delivers most effectively and reminds me:
My Life Closed Twice Before Its Close
"My life closed twice before its close;
It yet remains to see
If Immortality unveil
A third event to me,
So huge, so hopeless to conceive,
As these that twice befell.
Parting is all we know of heaven,
And all we need of hell." ~Emily Dickinson.
Bravo
Peace
Yangdantien |
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Re: Three Times Dead
(User Rating: 1 )
by unknown_utopia on
Tuesday, 6th March 2007 @ 09:46:31 PM AEST
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Dark InnerVision
well done.... |
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Re: Three Times Dead
(User Rating: 1 )
by Silent-No-More on
Wednesday, 7th March 2007 @ 12:57:15 AM AEST
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Well, Mr. Carling... you've drawn me in again.
Your propensity for perfect rhythm and flow moves a reader so smoothly through your work that this reader sometimes wonders if it might be too smoothly (too quickly). I've almost (almost, Larry) wished you to hiccup for suspecting it might slow a reader down and encourage a closer look. I confess, myself, to never reading you just once... there's the first read, smooth and easy, and then a second look, perhaps a third, maybe more (as many as it takes for me to feel that I've mined what I could). I do so hope that I'm not alone in this practice as I find myself again, this night, thinking your post worthy of some additional thought.
Ever a pleasure,
~Snem |
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Re: Three Times Dead
(User Rating: 1 )
by Eternal_Dreamer on
Sunday, 1st April 2007 @ 05:43:13 PM AEST
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Gosh Larry, you have penned a most outstanding write here detailing the darkness of depression so well. Many *hugs*
to you my dear fellow poet friend, I have felt like this many times and I hope and pray
this dark cloud shifts from your beautiful heart real soon. Bravo dearest Larry.
Here's to much brighter and happier days~
love, hugs and prayers,
dreamer |
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Re: Three Times Dead
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Monday, 16th April 2007 @ 08:05:18 AM AEST
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i felt every feeling, breathed every word, this poem is over the top in excellence, bravo!
love n' hugs nessa |
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Re: Three Times Dead
(User Rating: 1 )
by Dom on
Tuesday, 17th July 2007 @ 06:14:43 AM AEST
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A very potent angle from which to look at depression and death. The rhythm is so smooth, driving the reading perpetually onwards through your words. It takes (and deservedly so) a good few readings to really appreciate the poem, which is intriguing and obviously well-written on first view and then depth is gained on returning and digging through it.
Interesting poem,
Dom |
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