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outlasting the night
Contributed by
priss
on
Tuesday, 6th March 2007 @ 10:14:06 PM in AEST
Topic:
selfstruggles
|
across the night, i see
the beginning of uneasiness.
i beg a blessing
to come from this
fever in my soul;
secreting from the heart
the feeling that always follows
when solitude tears sanity apart.
i ease my body down
onto the dirty sheets
that always leave me cold
where emptiness breeds.
patience evolves into impulse
leaving way for madness to exist;
leading me to trouble
my mind cannot resist.
across the night, across town
i lose my senses somewhere
waiting for the sun.
if this is error, i seldom care.
a crimson smile has me mesmerized
my self-respect has been misplaced
seemingly, i have this memorized.
i'm taken back to the place
where i can shed my affliction
temporarily, though; thats all i need
to get me through one more night
of feeling incomplete.
across the night, outlasting the night
i lose my head, lose my skin;
hidden momentarily from the light.
left, disregarded and forgotten
how will i ever feel again
now that i don't even care?
i'll put it off, put it off
and smooth it over until i can bear
the thought of dealing with my regrets.
Copyright ©
priss
... [
2007-03-06 22:14:06]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: outlasting the night
(User Rating: 1 )
by elle on
Tuesday, 6th March 2007 @ 10:22:27 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Most excellent......well done! |
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Re: outlasting the night
(User Rating: 1 )
by yangdantien on
Wednesday, 7th March 2007 @ 12:51:21 AM AEST
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As writing is stretched out thinking so is emotion sailing through feelings. With pen and discipline regret becomes choices to avoid consequences as our power is in the moment not the past or future.
Good Job
Peace
Yangdantien |
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Re: outlasting the night
(User Rating: 1 )
by darkangeleyes57 on
Wednesday, 7th March 2007 @ 07:00:21 AM AEST
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The flow was good and I liked the way that you had written this. I liked how this was deep and truthful. Great poem.
Take care
Christina-xo |
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Re: outlasting the night
(User Rating: 1 )
by needledancing on
Wednesday, 7th March 2007 @ 07:57:50 AM AEST
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| Well written when we enter this space it speaks well of the strength we have lost.thank you |
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Re: outlasting the night
(User Rating: 1 )
by Bleedthelove on
Thursday, 8th March 2007 @ 12:11:33 PM AEST
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| "I lose my senses somewhere waiting for the sun" - my absolute favorite line. So beautiful those words. Excellent job. |
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Re: outlasting the night
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 8th March 2007 @ 06:35:07 PM AEST
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oh priss .. this was heartbreaking, but so exceptionally expressed.
I found myself in this, hun. It is terribly disastrous to find
ourselves alone and , (even worse), lonely-- with regret as our
only companion. It hurts to breathe even.
I was so drawn to the title, but this line really got to me ..
"when solitude tears sanity apart."
... *hushed greatly by words*
in silence, and in awe,
~Breezy |
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Re: outlasting the night
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 13th March 2007 @ 12:42:29 PM AEST
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So much vividness to the emotions demands the captivity of the reader! Hey folks, YPDC has gots us another master of words. This is truly a masterfully done piece. Depth to die for!
wabl
KenMoore
cowboy |
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