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Untold Stories
Contributed by
unknown_utopia
on
Sunday, 18th March 2007 @ 09:00:25 PM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
I try to do
what I think is fair
but there are the times
when I do not really care
and then
that's when I start thinking
have I ever been
completely truthful
or a real friend
or am I just destined
to be confused
until the bitter end.
Ok I agree
could be
that I am just getting old
but there is always
a different version
from a story that is told,
like the way she kissed me
when we were all alone
but she had another lover
so our love was never known,
or about the time
I didn't do right and lied
back then I had a reason
but now
it can not be justified.
As time goes by
memories
ebb and flow...
seems there are to many times I was not right
when I knew
what I was doing was wrong,
ok I agree
could be
that I am just getting old
but when I tell a story
the real version
is usually not told,
like the
way she dissed me
told me to leave her alone
saying she had another lover
we would be together no more,
all I remember
is a caress and a kiss....
Copyright ©
unknown_utopia
... [
2007-03-18 21:00:25]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Untold Stories
(User Rating: 1 )
by yangdantien on
Sunday, 18th March 2007 @ 10:30:46 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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Sometimes memories unfurl as sails catching the seas we wish to navigate as in 'Untold Stories' the sails taking bite in 'caress and kiss' a fine direction to remember. To captain and arrive at a good port one one adjusts their course and correspondingly tack their sails to make best use of the winds. In this piece I feel the measure of plotting your direction by degrees as a learned sailor now out growing the tendency to set sail by the stars alone.
In this line I feel the crux of your poem:
'...could be
that I am just getting old
but there is always
a different version
from a story that is told,..."
As the best version of 'getting old' is simply maturing this write attempts to get at what now has greater values for you a most important turn in self development.
Well Done
Peace
Yang |
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Re: Untold Stories
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 19th March 2007 @ 02:37:22 PM AEST
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| I was enjoying this poem, but then felt it lost its way towards the end. The last verse kind of spoilt it for me, sorry, but that's just the way I felt after reading it. Thanks all the same. |
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Re: Untold Stories
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Monday, 19th March 2007 @ 09:17:22 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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Hey Tony,
Well I'll just say you can still pull me into your writes hook, line, sinker and melt me with your words.
Hey if you can remember a caress or kiss then you're doing mucho better than me.
Big hugg, smles,
emy
Keep up he awesome writing! |
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