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Street Sonics of the Tomcat
Contributed by
Neo-theatre
on
Thursday, 22nd March 2007 @ 01:33:01 AM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
Ditched.
Your Knee-jerk reaction no more De Sade than a hammer-tapped Patella,
The hand Sprung from a hotplate or the idiosyncratic strike of the ego-nettled adder
below the insult of an unwary boot,
Step out
Self indulgent as a Birthday
Clocked-on like a silencer to dark agendas of a new dimension
Like a white-collar-drone-cum-black-tie smack or charlie peddler
In the bluelight, Mr Hyde half of another life, step out
With cigarette halos, the loveless blown kisses of chinese geckos
rounding off your lips, enough double-nips to make vanilla breath
and the moon wobble hilariously in its abstract axis of blacks
and blueberry indigo, step out
Smooth as hearse and cold as its cargo,
Your eye stark and dark as shark's and with the same gestalt
appraisal of targets as you trawl the Borealis effect floors of subculture
and those crowds of thrashing arms like wounded seals,
Marrionette of your ids dramaturgy, an inexhaustable
Slick sleeve of superficial magic, doves, roses, multicoloured
strips of fabric tied to one impressive length of rag rainbow.
Some lascivious shiny-vinyl, pantheistic
Pseudo vamp swallows your 'baby' like software,
That delirium of seraphim and cheribum
who on the wings of kingfishers cut a a davincian neo-classical cerulean sky
where cirrus rouge as Friedrich's soul billow out from patterned,
Silver victorian horns
Sweat, salt, starch, that taste of copper coins
A slink-out from the spoon of a slumbering arm
Into the safety of darkness's cloak like a guilty animal,
The aftermaths of debauch that come to you
Syntaxless as a handful of polaroids
as you contemplate the image of a cad
in the mirror of a ceramic bowl which holds your liqour,
kebab, the once infallable
Asimovian love that was your nucleus.
Copyright ©
Neo-theatre
... [
2007-03-22 01:33:01]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Street Sonics of the Tomcat
(User Rating: 1 )
by Butterat_Zool on
Thursday, 22nd March 2007 @ 04:15:28 AM AEST
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a Message)
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I think I actually followed that. What does it say if you strip away all the imagery, though? Something like "it sucks to be dumped." You remind me of several poets that i've encountered during classes and workshops, who use their poems as a series of images to create an almost movielike quality to their words. However, this is the first time i've ever seen that technique used effectively. Usually, the point is inundated and drowned in details that make no difference in the story, and while i thought you may have approached that threshold a couple times, you showed just the right amount of restraint and moved on to the next thought at the last second. Very well done. Nice first post. Welcome to the site. I look forward to seeing what more you've got to share with us.
BZ. |
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Re: Street Sonics of the Tomcat
(User Rating: 1 )
by needledancing on
Thursday, 22nd March 2007 @ 06:05:49 AM AEST
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| A very interesting write...I will not lie and tell you I understand the whole thing but I will give you credit for the vivid verbal lines this piece contains.I will reread several times as it does draw me in. |
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Re: Street Sonics of the Tomcat
(User Rating: 1 )
by yangdantien on
Thursday, 29th March 2007 @ 08:05:01 PM AEST
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Yes I hear this piece read
ALOUD
in the rhythm
of Slam
Def Poetry Jam
in front of students from the 7 sisters
rather than some downtown joint.
References to Casper David, Nips, De Sade and Asimov give way to an upper crust audience where vulgarity is superfluous.
The 'Street' is 'slumming,' a visitors view in my immodest opinion.
However I loved it...
Student or Master it was a delight to speak and utilized a set of neural pathways familiar to my own elements.
Thank You
Please keep posting.
Bravo
Yang |
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Re: Street Sonics of the Tomcat
(User Rating: 1 )
by deadheadpoet on
Thursday, 5th April 2007 @ 11:59:49 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Wow man, that was one heck of a write. How about we crawl around in each others mind? You and your metaphors, I so love. So deep, so involved. Makes me almost feel and taste it, whilst reading. As always, well done.
Peace and hugs,
Laura |
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