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My Cup
Contributed by
sandypoet
on
Friday, 23rd March 2007 @ 10:13:06 PM in AEST
Topic:
InspirationalPoems
|
Jesus was in a garden,
We know, He was there to pray,
It was a very long time ago,
And the place was far away.
He was about to go through some things,
He had alot on His mind,
He had prayed to the Father,
Time after time.
Then the last words, He had spoken,
And it was well known,
Was the words
Father, Thy will be done.
So I will take the cup also,
I will take it to bare,
Because I know dear Father,
You will hold my hand down here.
I may be sick in my body,
But I am not sick in my soul,
Thank you Jesus,
For making me whole.
By His blood my sins are washed away,
By His stripes I am healed,
That is what the bible says.
But if thy will is for me,
To be sick in this way,
Then Lord I ask you to help,
Through this storm I pray.
I rather you be in my boat,
While the storm is going on,
Then not have you in my boat,
And be left alone.
So take my hand Dear Father,
Hold on to it tight,
Walk with me through this sickness,
In the day and in the night.
I gladly take my cup,
I gladly take and drink,
Because I know Dear Father,
Leaning on you is not a mistake.
Copyright ©
sandypoet
... [
2007-03-23 22:13:06]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: My Cup
(User Rating: 1 )
by needledancing on
Friday, 23rd March 2007 @ 11:19:01 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| A wonderful piece...always remember FAITH can move mountains...it is that simple...and never explainable |
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Re: My Cup
(User Rating: 1 )
by Butterat_Zool on
Sunday, 25th March 2007 @ 01:30:41 AM AEST
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a Message)
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You don't need the first three stanzas, and you never mention jesus as holding a cup, so you don't need to have the word "also" at the start of the fourth stanza. Maybe just say that it's "his cup" or "your (god's) cup". Also, even though the KJV uses "thy", "thee", and "thou" all the time, that wasn't because that's the way god wants to be addressed, that's just how people talked when King James I ruled England. Try trading out the "thy"s for "you"s and "your"s... you can still capitalize it if it suits you. It will make your piece much more easy to read. Finally, this reads A LOT like it should be a song, especially with that lone 3-line stanza in the middle. Try turning that stanza into like a 6- or 8-line chorus, and i bet you could make a nice song out of this.
BZ. |
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Re: My Cup
(User Rating: 1 )
by Putteragain on
Wednesday, 28th March 2007 @ 11:33:32 AM AEST
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a Message)
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that was well said
He carries us when we are weak
he knows our heart no need to spek |
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