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This World is Full of Blank Faces
Contributed by
aloneinthememory
on
Sunday, 1st April 2007 @ 12:04:00 PM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
This world is full of blank faces
unfeeling
vast and lonely places
uncaring
Unfeeling
lost in the endless emptyness
uncaring
the hopelessness
Lost in the endless emptyness
wishing I could escape
the hopelessness
the jagged landscape
Wishing I could escape
vast and lonely places
the jagged landscape
This world is full of blank faces.
Copyright ©
aloneinthememory
... [
2007-04-01 12:04:00]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: This World is Full of Blank Faces
(User Rating: 1 )
by runawaynameless on
Sunday, 1st April 2007 @ 12:57:01 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| so right. The world is full of blank faces. No one knows how to be.... anything, real. |
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Re: This World is Full of Blank Faces
(User Rating: 1 )
by Rhei76 on
Sunday, 1st April 2007 @ 07:44:16 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| depressingly true, good write. |
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Re: This World is Full of Blank Faces
(User Rating: 1 )
by Butterat_Zool on
Monday, 2nd April 2007 @ 08:53:57 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Always a fun form to play with. I really like the reversal you did in the last stanza so that you ended the poem with the same line you started with. Other than that, i kind of wished it was a little longer, both by adding a couple more stanzas, and maybe also adding a few more feet to each line. As it stands, the poem kind of reads too quickly to convey any meaning beyond your blanket generalization, and doesn't really offer anything more than anecdotal support of your point. With a little more meat to it, though, i can easily see this turning into an orwellian nightmare that no reader would quickly forget.
BZ. |
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Re: This World is Full of Blank Faces
(User Rating: 1 )
by Whisper on
Thursday, 5th April 2007 @ 05:38:09 AM AEST
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Short quick and true. Thanks fer sharing
Whisper |
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Re: This World is Full of Blank Faces
(User Rating: 1 )
by Rockalife66 on
Friday, 29th June 2007 @ 03:08:43 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| I don't know what a pantoum is, but you did good to me. I like the reverse you ad. Very good. |
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