|
 Menu
|
|
|
|
|
Social
|
|
|
|
|
Living Death
Contributed by
karl_schmidt87
on
Tuesday, 24th April 2007 @ 10:57:58 AM in AEST
Topic:
Grief
|
Standing in the trees where a boy once stood
Theres a man in the wood eternaly Misunderstood
So narrow his emotional range
Time ticks by but he can only sigh
As nothing will ever change
He tries to ponder but his mind will forever wander
Thoughts of death circle his head
His biggest fear is to never be dead
Its never been heard but has often been said
Its better to die than to live forever in dread
When he finnally awoke he could only scream
As he realized life was only a dream
Hed been in a coma since age thirteen
He could move not a leg nor an arm
Kept in a hospital safe from all harm
He wanted once more only to die
But once again he could only sigh
Copyright ©
karl_schmidt87
... [
2007-04-24 10:57:58]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
Advertisments:
|
|
|
|
|
|
Sorry, comments are no longer allowed for anonymous, please register for a free membership to access this feature and more
|
|
All comments are owned by the poster. Your Poetry
Dot Com is not responsible for the content of any
comment.
That said, if you find an offensive comment, please
contact via the FeedBack Form with details, including poem title
etc.
|
|
|
Re: Living Death
(User Rating: 1 )
by Amicus on
Tuesday, 24th April 2007 @ 11:13:48 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
hey,
i thought it was pretty good, it just needs spell check, and i thought you were going a little too specific when you said thirteen, but you tied it up enough with the sigh. I think it would have been overall better if you hadnt had the extra paragraph and instead written another about living dead. I dont mean this in a bad way, i think it just would have made it a better poem.
Keep writing,
Dein Amicus |
|
|
|
· 
Poetry
Site Help
Members
Areas
Reference
Search
Top
Others
