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MORE PAIN
Contributed by
MILLER_GENUINE_SWINE
on
Thursday, 26th April 2007 @ 09:28:01 AM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
DRAGONS FIRE AND LOVES DESIRE
WINGS OF PASSION NOW LAID TO REST
THE PASSIONS GONE WE DID OUR BEST
DEADLY SINS NOW LAY BEFORE ME
IT IS YOU THAT I DON'T WANT TO SEE
TO SEE YOU NOW WOULD BURY MY SOUL
LEAVING ME BROKEN AND SO UNWHOLE
LOVERS COME AND LOVERS GO
YOU MY FRIEND ARE A FREEKING HO
YOU BLACKENED MY SOUL AND STOMPED ON MY HEART
LEAVEING ME EMPTY KNOWING NOT WHERE TO START
STARING INTO DARKNESS NOT KNOWING WHAT TO DO
KNOWING BUT ONE THING ,HOW MUCH I HATE YOU
Copyright ©
MILLER_GENUINE_SWINE
... [
2007-04-26 09:28:01]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: MORE PAIN
(User Rating: 1 )
by niere on
Thursday, 26th April 2007 @ 11:20:20 AM AEST
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''DRAGONS FIRE AND LOVES DESIRE
WINGS OF PASSION NOW LAID TO REST ''
I love those lines. They give me this amazing image... and the words you used are all passionate ones, which adds to the sting and bite of the line ''...now laid to rest''.
All together great work, although one thing I didn't like too much was the line '
'YOU MY FRIEND ARE A FREEKING HO''
It just seemed out of place in the poem as it's slang, you know?
Anyway, didn't mean to criticise, just being honest. Great work, keep it up ;) |
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Re: MORE PAIN
(User Rating: 1 )
by Vampirequeen on
Thursday, 26th April 2007 @ 02:42:22 PM AEST
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STARING INTO DARKNESS NOT KNOWING WHAT TO DO
KNOWING BUT ONE THING ,HOW MUCH I HATE YOU
Now i really love that part .
take care |
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Re: MORE PAIN
(User Rating: 1 )
by brew on
Friday, 27th April 2007 @ 12:14:19 PM AEST
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The darkeness of HATE............give up.....its not there....it should dimish..........Let it go.......
Brew~ |
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Re: MORE PAIN
(User Rating: 1 )
by shelby on
Friday, 27th April 2007 @ 02:06:47 PM AEST
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I felt the pain and anger throughout.
Tis hard some time to overcome when someone hurts us deeply .
I loved the wording and strong powerful style of this.
~Michelle~ |
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