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Twenty White Roses
Contributed by
GemmaLouiseRose
on
Thursday, 17th May 2007 @ 02:17:11 AM in AEST
Topic:
LostLove
|
Im sitting here dreaming, im lonely
the cause, is something ive done
I twist and I turn, as these tears burn
I have lost what i could have won.
Theyre harsh, theyre blind presumptions
I forced in your face they broke up your heart
Id take them all back if I could and I would
Go back with you to the start
And now that they see I am lonely
Theyre prowling around eyes wide
Closing in fast, coming in strong
To forge their ways inside
Theyre reaching out to touch me
this so called beautiful exterior
Asking me here, calling me there
But compared to you, theyre inferior
I cant keep my mind off of you
As they show off... what theyve all got
They dance, they prance, glitter and shine
But youre everything they are not
They could send me twenty white roses
And squeeze me till I turn blue
But that wouldnt distract and make my thoughts stray
From this beautiful image of you
They could soak me in affection
and give up themselves to me
never would they ever come close
youre all they never will be
Copyright ©
GemmaLouiseRose
... [
2007-05-17 02:17:11]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Twenty White Roses
(User Rating: 1 )
by GemmaLouiseRose on
Thursday, 17th May 2007 @ 02:33:13 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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If youre going to rate my work a 1 star, having the balls to admit it and tell me why.
If i read your poem and i think it deserves a low grade i will be honest. |
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Re: Twenty White Roses
(User Rating: 1 )
by LoveStruck_Hippie on
Thursday, 17th May 2007 @ 03:07:49 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
First of all I would like to welcome you to YPDC.
I found this to be a touching read. A raw expression of lost love.
I wouldn't put much stock in the pressing of a button from someone unwilling to comment on their motives. We all grow in the things we write and it is what we think and take away from it that really matters.
Keep on writing and growing
Peace
~Shannon |
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Re: Twenty White Roses
(User Rating: 1 )
by BornReckless on
Thursday, 17th May 2007 @ 03:39:18 AM AEST
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a Message)
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I like your honesty in this poem. I like how it feels so pure. Great writing.
~JJ |
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Re: Twenty White Roses
(User Rating: 1 )
by PhantomVampyress on
Thursday, 17th May 2007 @ 04:15:41 AM AEST
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a Message)
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this is a very sad heartfelt write.. i espeically loved the last 2 stanzas very sad and memorable lines.. beautifully written
vampyress Jenni |
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Re: Twenty White Roses
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Wednesday, 23rd May 2007 @ 01:52:23 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
beautiful expression of feeling, good style and flow, sad and heartfelt write, and i adore your glorious ending,
love n' hugs nessa |
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