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Heart
Contributed by
butterat_zool
on
Wednesday, 23rd May 2007 @ 07:16:19 PM in AEST
Topic:
Lifepoems
|
You broke into to my mother
to rob me,
blind and dumb,
taking with you
grandchildren
and blood
in the name of weak fun,
and depositing all
in the sewers behind the grocery store.
You sang about time,
about youth and death,
and told me stories
through the voice
of a hoary old woman.
Enchanted, I sat,
aging at the fountain of youth,
praying for a glass of water
to cleanse my parched throat.
Just anything,
One drink.
And when the clouds in your eyes cleared up,
and you stood once more in broad daylight,
and sang of life,
the same song with different lyrics,
and reminded me of those sewers
and the children flushed away,
you broke into me,
and rather than take,
you placed in my home
a statue of that
which I fear most.
Copyright ©
butterat_zool
... [
2007-05-23 19:16:19]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Heart
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Thursday, 24th May 2007 @ 05:35:01 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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seems to me an unrequited love, things that could of been but will not be, also has a mystical flare, i love the entire essence of the second stanza, so thirsty whilst at the fountain of youth, i believe the whole flow in there could be a poem in and of itself, very creative, clever and worth reading as are all of your writes,
love n' hugs nessa |
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Re: Heart
(User Rating: 1 )
by PhantomVampyress on
Thursday, 24th May 2007 @ 09:33:32 AM AEST
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a Message)
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a very intense powerful emotional packed poem.. great job
vampyress Jenni |
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Re: Heart
(User Rating: 1 )
by Neo-Theatre on
Thursday, 24th May 2007 @ 12:06:09 PM AEST
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a Message)
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lots of potential here. If the statue in your home is the girl herself, you need to make that more specific. My interested is certainly piqued-But you need something, somewhere concrete to put me on the right track.
"You broke into my mother to rob me"-Is excellent.
Thankyou,
TNT |
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