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Ten Million Miles Away
Contributed by
mangos
on
Wednesday, 30th May 2007 @ 07:30:42 AM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
Caught between what I know to be right and what I desire
free minds destined to think without constraints
control withers under the weight
forward leaps in an upward bounce
to see me for what I am, a man, in love, with you, understand
Complicated material
Intermingle-
The circle is asymmetrical
Rain fall
A rushed trickle
Fingers crawl
A passionate tickle
A kiss
A change of mood
Subdued
Let go
Fickle
Acting despicable
Evil
Without moral
Inseparable from the shackles
Bondage entangles
Freedom inaccessible
Punishable by death
Permissible only for short spurts
It hurts
Reemerged
Resurged
Researched and rehearsed
then appropriately reversed
Submerged, beneath
Held down with belief
Tide up when conceived
Faith and its symbols
Concentrate on the dot as it trembles
Brings the world to its knees
Pieces left to assemble
Places I have never been
Calling me home
Copyright ©
mangos
... [
2007-05-30 07:30:42]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Ten Million Miles Away
(User Rating: 1 )
by 5MinutePoet on
Wednesday, 30th May 2007 @ 08:04:46 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| i like the fast style. the bullet point method of poetry you have used here and tend to use it a lot for free forming myself, however,l here comes the constructive criticism. It's all a bit messy, nice idea though even a random army needs uniform |
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Re: Ten Million Miles Away
(User Rating: 1 )
by brew on
Wednesday, 30th May 2007 @ 12:10:51 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Its abstract.......which can conform to many meanings.....its lost......its hope.......its want..its there......but not. Loved it..made one seek and find..and if a heart you can find alot. Great job.
Brew~ |
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Re: Ten Million Miles Away
(User Rating: 1 )
by PhantomVampyress on
Thursday, 31st May 2007 @ 02:22:16 AM AEST
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a very powerful emotional piece.. it conveys quite a few messeges.. a very well penned piece
Vampyress Jenni |
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Re: Ten Million Miles Away
(User Rating: 1 )
by saralind21 on
Friday, 1st June 2007 @ 08:27:57 AM AEST
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I like this poem a lot. Especially the end...
"Pieces left to assemble
Places I have never been
Calling me home…"
I can relate. |
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Re: Ten Million Miles Away
(User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on
Sunday, 5th August 2007 @ 01:28:56 PM AEST
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"...And suddenly I feel miles and miles from home..." :)
Love the rush of emotion that seemed to tear through each line... Well presented!
~Scorp. |
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