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the cycle
Contributed by
Jan_Oskar_Hansen
on
Thursday, 27th February 2003 @ 11:40:00 PM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
Sunday At The Farm
Sven had been up early tending to the animals
usually his wife did that but it was Sunday her
half day off. Sophie, an old scrawny little thing
of the womanfolk, had milked and fed the cows.
She had strong hands, dark eyes and the quick
movement of a ferret never spoke to him since
he as a colt more than thirty years ago, had tried
to seduce her, his mild father had been so angry
that he had hit him the slap still mystified him.
People-shy she lived in the barn, but lately she
had taken to shouting at nights something about
the devil, Christ and her mother He had been
thinking of replacing her with a younger maid,
only Sophie had nowhere to go, she had been
here long before he was born and no one knew
where she came from, as a young girl she just
showed up a summers day and stayed. Back in
bed his wife waited for him smiling, it had
been such a long time since they made love.
Awoke at ten, time to dress for church looked
kindly at his wife and thought: the church is built
to last forever and will still be there next Sunday.
25-76
Coming Home.
On Christmas Eve at the cottage hospital in
a small town a baby girl was born, when her
mother disappeared next day a nurse gave
her the name Sophie and handed her over
to the orphanage. Sophie was an unusually
quiet child, her movement quick and shy,
eyes dark looking as seeking something far
from where she was. When fourteen she was
told her that her father was a farmer living
in the west of the country and that her mother
was dead, Sophie knew what she had to do
to walk west, visit every farm till she found
her father; quietly as always she disappeared
from the orphanage and began walking.
Farmers were kind to Sophie, this a half-wit,
gave her food, she was a good worker, didnt
eat much and never fooled around with boys,
only she didnt stay long suddenly she was
gone quickly as early morning shadow on
a barn wall. Then, one a bright summers day
walking to a farm asking for work, she finally
met her father, he was slim, not sturdy like
other country folks and he had dark eyes too.
Sophie was sure, her quest over and she was
full of gratitude. The farmer looked puzzled
like he tried to remember something from his
past but could not, yet he gave her work and
Sophie stayed at last she was home.
25-77
Sophies Mother
Helen, was a popular girl in the shady side of
town she had seen the lustful, greedy faces of
those who snubbed her in the day and despised
them all. She had had many men but they meant
nothing it was all for money, till the fateful day
when she met this young farm boy in uniform,
he was so soft, vulnerable and undemanding, to
him she gave herself fully. A week of bliss and
then he left, not that she had expected anything
more. Later to her horror she found that she was
pregnant and intuitively knew it could only be his.
Her water broke while sitting in a bar, rushed to
hospital and a baby girl were born. No she didnt
want to hold this new life in her arms fearful that
she might love it and not let got, it was best that
way she wasnt made to be a mother. Next day she boarded a train for the big city and vanished into
its vast slum quarter. In an abject room of a low life
hotel a woman was found dead, on the floor beside
the bed an empty bottle of pills and the picture of
a nondescript young man in uniform.
Copyright ©
Jan_Oskar_Hansen
... [
2003-02-27 23:40:00]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: the cycle
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 14th May 2004 @ 07:53:40 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
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I'm not sure if this is a rendition of a journal extract or what, but it was riveting. I would say, however, that the mother's sequence went a little to abruptly for my liking. I would have preffered more detail, as it makes the end sound a little rushed, which is a shame, because the piece is as well thought out and executed a storyline as I have read in a long time.
Commendable work. |
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