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Lost Again
Contributed by
liindso14
on
Thursday, 31st May 2007 @ 11:30:07 AM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
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poor little girl living in this corrupted world she lie broken on the floor she doesnt wanna live anymore she lost everything what more could this cold world bring? shes lost her best friend,hero,brother,confidant she has nothing left to want she uses the alcohol and the powder to kill the pain no longer wanting to live in vain he used her then he left her it happened so fast it was a blur crying everynight she doesnt understand why she used to tell him everything hes the only person to have heard her sing tears roll down her cheeks as she realizes that he hasnt called in weeks she misses his hugs and smiles though she hasnt felt or seen them in a while she used to run to him when she was hurt now shes so lost once again she falls to the ground so numb with pain she doesnt realize shes fallen down no one to talk to,nothing to say she wakes up to another meaningless day everuthing she sees and does is a reminder everyone thinks shes an over reacter but today her world has cracked shes hit rock bottom once again and no one can see that her smile is fake well thats their mistake
Copyright ©
liindso14
... [
2007-05-31 11:30:07] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Lost Again
(User Rating: 1 ) by 5MinutePoet on
Thursday, 31st May 2007 @ 11:56:13 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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not bad, though i would suggest you look at the endong, may change it to a two liner, it lust doesn't have the impact to end there for me. Also the ryhming couplets, effective as they are, are placed slighty out of sync when you decide to throw a random word into the mix |
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Re: Lost Again
(User Rating: 1 ) by shelby on
Saturday, 30th June 2007 @ 04:32:55 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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A poem that rips at the heart. I hope you find peace and happiness and that the world doesn't seem so dark
Michelle |
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