|
 Menu
|
|
|
|
|
Social
|
|
|
|
|
heaven and hell to unwind
Contributed by
lostrelic
on
Wednesday, 13th June 2007 @ 04:12:16 AM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
sitting in fire and spite of the days relief
dancing in anger in the walls of belief
seeing the cold with icy short breath
sensing the odd against shallow death
feeling lost in a sea of trust
following aggression in the form of my lust
slap happy stumble a senile smile
fallen with prayer marks worn on the tile
soldiers walk like dogs on patrol
playing with dust as the follow control
speaking in tongues a babble forgot
forgetting the gifts that religion has brought
all for blood and nothing for flesh
seeing the fall i hide with the best
one more march boots black with no marks
stomping out dreams like a child fears dark
this is words from a lost form of mind
waiting for heaven and hell to unwind
Copyright ©
lostrelic
... [
2007-06-13 04:12:16]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
Advertisments:
|
|
|
|
|
|
Sorry, comments are no longer allowed for anonymous, please register for a free membership to access this feature and more
|
|
All comments are owned by the poster. Your Poetry
Dot Com is not responsible for the content of any
comment.
That said, if you find an offensive comment, please
contact via the FeedBack Form with details, including poem title
etc.
|
|
|
Re: heaven and hell to unwind
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 13th June 2007 @ 08:21:02 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Soaringly brilliant! I have not read your work before, but I apparantly have been missing out. There is a darkness and a sense of possible disillusion in this work. Giving the reader (I feel) exactly what you want to give and nothing more. This is refrained talent in it's most admirable form. I believe here you are speaking of war (but that may be my own wrong translation). But this can in my mind be interpreted as physical war, and mental war. A war with an enemy known or one with an enemy barely seen. It can even (and I think more poetically) be taken as self struggle (our ultimate war). Either way even if I am way off base, this is a wonderfully poetic work and obviously is brilliantly open to interpretation (something few poets allow us to do). I especially admired this....feeling lost in a sea of trust
following aggression in the form of my lust It screams with emotion and poetic flare.
SUPERB!
SCM |
|
|
Re: heaven and hell to unwind
(User Rating: 1 )
by deadheadpoet on
Wednesday, 13th June 2007 @ 01:31:40 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Great write Relic, full of the raw emotion that I am so used to in your writes. I feel so much anger but compassion as well. Your fight always for the "little guy", the "oppressed ones" and the "lost ones". You speak volumes in this write, my friend.
*hugs you tightly*
Peace,
Laura |
|
|
|
· 
Poetry
Community
Members
Areas
Reference
Search
Top
Others
