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Shards and Sands
Contributed by
yoseii
on
Monday, 18th June 2007 @ 03:15:43 AM in AEST
Topic:
LovePoetry
|
This glass is too dirty
Smoke signals fog the cracked pans and rise
Only to choke and blind you
From the blurry figure before your barrier
Sweaty palm pleas cannot penetrate your glass facade
You see your princess in a honey-suckle haze
But too soon the scene is gone
Hush now comrade, you scream too loud!
Your lady knows your whereabouts
And she will find you there
This brick is too old
The vine ladder breaks and crumbles
Unstable for you to climb and see
The shadow figure beyond your haven
Daisy chains cannot smile, they can only die
You see your prince in muted dreams
Only to wake without him there
Wake now mistress, you've slept too long!
Your sire knows your sanctuary
And he will find you there
Copyright ©
yoseii
... [
2007-06-18 03:15:43]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Shards and Sands
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 18th June 2007 @ 07:34:20 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
A fascinating poem concept though tragically this is a commong occurence in many love affairs. The figurative language you have chosen for both stanzas has represented the thoughts and the sentiment well. Showing the emotion perfectly. This is a fine job of poetry and a amazing job completely!
BRAVO!
SCM |
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Re: Shards and Sands
(User Rating: 1 )
by Linds on
Monday, 18th June 2007 @ 10:38:31 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| This is amazing. It reminds me of the exact situation im going through right now. |
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