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She said
Contributed by
GlenDavid
on
Tuesday, 19th June 2007 @ 03:04:21 AM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
Im getting old
She said Im getting old
My mind collapsed
When she said Im nothing to behold
Im not very bold
She said Im not very bold
My life slats collapsed
When she said she wouldnt take hold
Ive nothing to take home
Her actions have knocked me from my throne
My jelly knees collapsed
When she said nothing in her heart had grown
Copyright ©
GlenDavid
... [
2007-06-19 03:04:21]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: She said
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 19th June 2007 @ 06:17:00 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
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The Ghost Alarms congratulate you on a short and very interesting poem. We believe that metaphors within metaphors are powerful tools in this thing we call poetry. As we sit at our desks in robes hiding us from the light we see that light shines in poetic musings such as this. Yes this is not a happy poem and it is quite a simple little ditty but we love your amazing ability to use metaphors with aging and getting use to someone or tired of someone as this may be the case.
We praise and that is a lot of praising for we are many!
Chills From Behind You....The Ghost Alarms |
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Re: She said
(User Rating: 1 )
by shelby on
Tuesday, 19th June 2007 @ 07:08:04 AM AEST
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a Message)
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dang this is sad, old is only in word..... I loved the way you did use the metaphor within it nicely done
Michelle |
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