|
 Menu
|
|
|
|
|
Social
|
|
|
|
|
Lost Focus
Contributed by
StephaniePaige
on
Saturday, 23rd June 2007 @ 06:17:31 AM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
I say these things
because it's what you want to hear
it's what keeps you alive
but you're dying I fear
Don't you miss this,
this that you've lost
no point in striving
it's a winning battle to be fought
but at what cost?
Annoyance
Disorder
it's all that you are
with an act like that
you won't get too far
you can't guilt me
in this shell where I live
imperfect perfection
I have nothing left to give
for what I gave to you
I can never get back
but the joke's on you now
you've been caught in the act
who you are is who you've been
I've known all along
The things you do
the way you move
it's all coming back to me now
but did it ever go?
and will it ever go?
images that float through my mind
this one mistake
I can't erase
not this time
Copyright ©
StephaniePaige
... [
2007-06-23 06:17:31]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
Advertisments:
|
|
|
|
|
|
Sorry, comments are no longer allowed for anonymous, please register for a free membership to access this feature and more
|
|
All comments are owned by the poster. Your Poetry
Dot Com is not responsible for the content of any
comment.
That said, if you find an offensive comment, please
contact via the FeedBack Form with details, including poem title
etc.
|
|
|
Re: Lost Focus
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 24th June 2007 @ 01:32:05 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Stephanie,
Wow and wow again! I finally get a chance to read your poetry. (I was informed that this one should not make a brother wonder or worry). Though there is obviously dark and if I let my curiosity wonder I'd have question, I want to focus on the poem instead.
A very poetic job you have done. And why, oh why did you never tell me you wrote poetry. I know you are not just suddenly coming up with this ability. While I agree that is a God given talent, work is necessary to make it shine so. I felt the pain in your words, the questions, and even the resolve. This is a powerful job, youngling.
And you share some word play traits with that big guy that calls you weird names. This is something I am thrilled to see. I loved, beyond loved these three lines so much that I had to display them again. These are damn poetic in an over all damn poetic work.
in this shell where I live
imperfect perfection
I have nothing left to give
Words that speak loudly in a poem that screams proudly!
SUPERB!
SCM |
|
|
Re: Lost Focus
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 24th June 2007 @ 10:00:47 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Oh my .. how positively dripping with raw poetic potency!!
(please forgive if I sound befuddled or lacking in words
... I am tired and my head is pounding, but I wanted to
comment on this before I take my leave of the site for
the day ... )
What an incredible opening stanza! Holy heck, girl!
And everything that follows, is just as powerful, right
up to and including that very last line. Just, WOW! So many
things that I would have, could have said. But my head
is never clear and my thoughts are often muddled .. and
damn, I'm just not in my right frame sometimes. I keep
thinking that I should somehow give benefit where none should
be given. Hopelessly, hopeful, I am.
But YOU! Wow .. you can definitely deliver a punch with but
a word. And one that packs so much wisdom and courage.
You have much to be proud of on this page, Stephanie. Much!!
KUDOS!!!!
~Breezy
|
|
|
Re: Lost Focus
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 24th June 2007 @ 12:46:53 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
The Ghost Alarms have placed many cameras outside of your home, putting focus on you. And we see, as we act as voyeurs to your personal life, there is truth in your words. There is an aching within you and we wish that we could do something to ease this suffering. All we can do, however, is look through the monitors of the cameras and ask ourselves why there is no sound. It is annoying to watch a movie without sound, but we feel your poems are the perfect subtitles. We say that we agree and yes we nod our heads in unison. Then we place our own heads on tripods so we can look at our bodies from a voyeurs point of view. We then realize that the body cannot operate without the brain. So now our heads are stuck on tripods. We are not aware of how we are typing. Somehow we are able to command our bodies, vocally, to come and get us please, for this is a nightmare we do not want to experience again. Once we get our heads back on our bodies, we look at each other and simultaneously say, "that was strange." So, in conclusion, we have learned from your poem, that you cannot feel passion from focusing on someone else, but from focusing on yourself, then seeing how someone else relates to how you are. This is how humanity works and this is what your poem speaks to us, the Ghost Alarms. And you have spoken to a crowd, for we are many. We will continue to focus on the monitors, keeping our eyes on you.
May headless corpses aimlessly wander into your home tonight, eating all your food without mouths .... The Ghost Alarms
|
|
|
|
· 
Poetry
Community
Members
Areas
Reference
Search
Top
Others
