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Jealousy
Contributed by
ktbugg
on
Saturday, 1st March 2003 @ 10:00:00 AM in AEST
Topic:
LostLove
|
Youre basking in her sunlight
Youre swimming in her seas
Youre dancing on her daises
Youre floating on her breeze
Im lying in the darkness
Im drifting through the night
Im dreaming of your face
Im longing for the light
Id like to be the one
Id like you to concur
Id like to be engulfed in you
Id like to just be her
Copyright ©
ktbugg
... [
2003-03-01 10:00:00]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Jealousy
(User Rating: 1 )
by notsoangelic3000 on
Saturday, 1st March 2003 @ 01:35:15 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| hmmmm.....yes, very good, if you read any of my other commentz on other ppl, it might sound like I'm sayin the same thing, but no, this iz just like my "relationship" which I've truly never had, and I just want to say you write the simplest~good thing~but wisest and intellegent poetry, I like this, keep on writing. |
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Re: Jealousy
(User Rating: 1 )
by bobotheclown on
Saturday, 1st March 2003 @ 07:24:28 PM AEST
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a Message)
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i like this very short sometimes they are the best however. This flowed really well. I love repetition at the start of lines. It can be hard to do that sometimes. Anyways great poem!
Bobo (Joel) |
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Re: Jealousy
(User Rating: 1 )
by DreamWeaver on
Saturday, 1st March 2003 @ 08:38:33 PM AEST
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| You have expressed your feelings of jealousy so perfectly, without making it sound like an ugly thing, but a beautiful thing. I also love the way you started each four lines with the same word to separate your feelings. A truly great write ... five stars. |
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Re: Jealousy
(User Rating: 1 )
by Bizzy on
Saturday, 1st March 2003 @ 11:50:28 PM AEST
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Dear ktbugg, I have no suggestions. A+
Great-grandma Bizzy |
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