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Time
Contributed by
LanBanan88
on
Monday, 16th July 2007 @ 04:59:50 PM in AEST
Topic:
SadPoetry
|
There was once this boy
who liked this girl
he said that it was her
that made his heart swirl
She didnt feel the same as that
cause she thought she was
used as a doormat
all his friends were like
"go tell her b4 she gets taken"
but both him and his friends
were majorly mistaken
they were cool with that
cause they thought that the time will come
for that guy to ask that girl out, the girl who thought
she was dumb
But on friday night, as she thought to herself
that her life was dull
she pulled the trigger of the gun
and aimed it to her skull
as she was lying there
feeling the strong pain
she knew it was the right thing to do
although it was insane
the next day the boy called
speaking to the mum , who had tears in her eyes
telling him to come the following week
to the funeral to say his bye, byes..
Lana
Copyright ©
LanBanan88
... [
2007-07-16 16:59:50]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Time
(User Rating: 1 )
by funnyface09 on
Monday, 16th July 2007 @ 07:06:41 PM AEST
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a Message)
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ohh that is very,very sad...
a very shocking ending to your poem...
well written...as i really felt the shock and the pain..thanks for sharing.. |
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Re: Time
(User Rating: 1 )
by yackerz85 on
Wednesday, 18th July 2007 @ 01:39:23 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| I wasn't expecting the twist at the end... so very sad and shocking... |
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Re: Time
(User Rating: 1 )
by PhantomVampyress on
Wednesday, 18th July 2007 @ 02:31:41 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
this isn't too bad of a write.. its like a mini story.. i had a feeling that you were going to say that at the end lolz. but im pretty good at figuring out endings.. this was an interesting write
rock on,
vampyress Jenni |
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