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A Life Unlived
Contributed by
Loende
on
Sunday, 22nd July 2007 @ 02:21:54 PM in AEST
Topic:
selfstruggles
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The dreams are gone, now all but faded I walk alone, so stiff and jaded And Love once shared has now been lost To feel no more, the bitter cost.
A world of color, now black and white Ive ceased to care, no will to fight What once brought joy, now breaks my heart I sit instead, afraid to start.
This fear it holds me cold and aching All things good have now been taken. The act so practiced, it seems real, The darkness feeds, an endless meal.
What once I trusted now begets fear Is pushed away, it cannot be near. A silent scream is all thats said Its carved me up and now Im dead.
The space inside me, a deep dark hole A life used up, like flash-fired coal You said youd love me if you could, My question, Love, is if you should?
Im sorry that Ive given up now Id try to change but I dont know how. Inertia keeps me in this place. Im filled with shame, such dark disgrace.
You gave me skills, all that was needed. Ive closed those doors, your gifts unheeded. Ive let you down, time and again I cant forget, cant make amends.
With one last breath, one last decision I grasp at straws, one last revision. If I fail now, then all is lost, A life unlived, a tragic cost.
Copyright ©
Loende
... [
2007-07-22 14:21:54] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: A Life Unlived
(User Rating: 1 ) by ladyfawn on
Sunday, 22nd July 2007 @ 03:07:57 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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heartbreakingly sad, beautiful in style and grace, an exquisite poem,
hugs n' love nessa
roses |
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Re: A Life Unlived
(User Rating: 1 ) by lostinmyself on
Monday, 23rd July 2007 @ 07:58:46 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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I'm so proud of you for writing this sweetie, and for posting it.
*hugs tight*
I don't particularly say in this comment what this did to me, or what I feel about it. You already know.
Wonderfully (and bravely) written, hun.
Loves you lots.
Phil xxx |
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Re: A Life Unlived
(User Rating: 1 ) by deadheadpoet on
Monday, 23rd July 2007 @ 02:48:42 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Such a sad write. I love the rhyming scheme throughout....it worked very well and the piece just flowed. You did an excellent job with this. Well penned.
Peace,
Laura |
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Re: A Life Unlived
(User Rating: 1 ) by bratty_wifey209 on
Wednesday, 25th July 2007 @ 08:21:26 AM AEST (User
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THIS IS BEATIFUL. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE POWERFUL POEM |
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Re: A Life Unlived
(User Rating: 1 ) by Silent-No-More on
Monday, 29th October 2007 @ 10:32:28 AM AEST (User
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Wow, Loende... I don't quite know what to say here.
I'm glad i didn't miss this (though, admittedly, I'm ridiculously tardy in coming here). Laura's right... it does flow incredibly well. It is, though, the essence of this that is most striking. Geez... it just leaves the reader aching. It's potent, really. And I hope... that the feeling that drove you to put it on the page, the feeling that bled into this and made it what it was, is now past tense.
Well done (both the write itself and what you did with 'it').
~Snemmy
(who, too, was quite moved by your author's note on this) |
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Re: A Life Unlived
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 2nd December 2008 @ 10:18:58 AM AEST (User
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stunning once again. the description is out of this world as you lead us down into the abyss of despair. your best poem in my opinion. |
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