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Breaking the Fence
Contributed by
xXdeadXpoetXx
on
Sunday, 29th July 2007 @ 06:19:30 AM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
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My head is getting clouded My mind corrupt with pain The windows began ringing From unrelentless rain
Daddy has pneumonia Mommy's never home And sis is just a year apart, But far apart we've grown
I'm not the least unpopular But what's the point in friends When you only have a couple Who bother letting in?
And there's this guy I've known a while He's unique in every way He's my best of the best of friends But wanting to be gay
I'm not against at all though He just seems to grow apart Cause it's not emotion baggage That's tearing at his heart
Seems it's just the physical Needing to take hold It's bugging me, nudging me But how to break this mold?
I miss the life I had before The friendships and the laugh Take the first six letters off My ship has seemed to crash
So here I am and spotless A book without a line Is there anything good thats out there That can take back all this time?
Seems I've hit a fence now A barrier I can't break I've given it my best shot That's all this fence will take
I rear my back and push hard And run against the wall I watch the chicken wire Hit it's final fall
It seems a breath of fresh air Has lifted off my chest It seems this dance is pulling And I got all the steps
Maybe things get better Than the worst that they may seem Or maybe all the hoping Is just a pointless dream
Copyright ©
xXdeadXpoetXx
... [
2007-07-29 06:19:30] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Breaking the Fence
(User Rating: 1 ) by AnenaLynne on
Sunday, 29th July 2007 @ 10:37:55 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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really really good and with a nice flow!
~nena |
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Re: Breaking the Fence
(User Rating: 1 ) by allidoiswrite82 on
Sunday, 29th July 2007 @ 11:11:01 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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This is a good piece but if you would like some critique I think that you should replace your line breaks I am learning that breaks mean more then just another line
(I miss the life I had before
The friendships and the laugh
Take the first six letters off
My ship has seemed to crash) Love this part !!!!
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Re: Breaking the Fence
(User Rating: 1 ) by Essentially9 on
Monday, 30th July 2007 @ 03:09:24 PM AEST (User
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i liked all of the opposing thoughts going into this, like being so popular, but not having many really friends, things getting better or just a pointless dream, not being able to break a barrier when you really can, etc. |
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