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World of the Mannequin
Contributed by
PoeticHybrid
on
Sunday, 29th July 2007 @ 07:09:30 AM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
World turns cold as hearts go numb
Intelligent ones slowly turn dumb
As passions fade so do inspirations
Bringing down many great nations
Things turn colder as apathy reigns
Not even life flows through our veins
With lifeless veins under cold clammy skin
We've turned into the world of mannequin
Copyright ©
PoeticHybrid
... [
2007-07-29 07:09:30]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: World of the Mannequin
(User Rating: 1 )
by AnenaLynne on
Sunday, 29th July 2007 @ 10:28:54 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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wow...so true! loved the message and flow...great job!
~nena |
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Re: World of the Mannequin
(User Rating: 1 )
by allidoiswrite82 on
Sunday, 29th July 2007 @ 11:13:21 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| Loved it great write |
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Re: World of the Mannequin
(User Rating: 1 )
by yackerz85 on
Sunday, 29th July 2007 @ 11:54:41 AM AEST
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a Message)
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how true! very creative saying that were becoming like mannequins. Apathy is the downfall of the world.
~Mark~ |
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Re: World of the Mannequin
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Monday, 30th July 2007 @ 03:05:10 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| this flowed along nicely for the most part. i think there needs to be some punctuation in some places because otherwise it just distracts the reader by thinking there should be one. you also have a typo with brining. i think your use of not having so many words helped the poem with his power. good job overall. |
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Re: World of the Mannequin
(User Rating: 1 )
by Whisper on
Tuesday, 31st July 2007 @ 06:39:18 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Well written. Excellent. Thank you for sharing
Whisper |
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